Sweet [H.S]

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Iris Froues

"Iris your on in two"

You would think being on stage every night would make you immune to stage fright. Everyone in this room is doing their last touch-ups before showtime, the artists running around, chasing the girls who have been stolen away by their managers to make sure their lipstick is sharp and lashes aren't practically falling off. The managers, who pulled them away, making them aware of the major brand's casting in the crowds.

The illuminating red timer above the curtain reel flashing seconds as we're waiting in the wings. And most importantly the screams of the audience outside, they just announced the 2017 annual Victoria secret show so the crowds are buzzing just on the other side of the curtain draping from 20ft above our heads.

All of this just adds to the nerves running through my body, my head is spinning and I feel the bile rising in my throat. I had barely eaten all day due to all the important press and media, my manager demands me to meet, telling me I need to 'look thin enough' otherwise they 'wouldn't cast me. Although I hate the pressure on staying lean in my career, as much as I love what I do, a lot of the time my stomach hurts so much from stress fasting I force myself to do days before a show, knowing that if I start eating I'll just scoff down a whole cake.

I eat.

I eat. I do eat, I promise. My agency is big on our figures, especially mine and all the other girls doing shows, sometimes I think I shouldn't have signed with the agency that controls my every move, but then how would I be doing the thing that I love. I just feel so constricted and torn sometimes, I'm not strong like some of the girls who would just walk away and put up a fight with our managers.

I wish I had that strength.

I clutch my stomach wearily from the nerves, a surge of tiredness flows through me, I have no idea why this happens but sometimes I just feel so tired I want to give up, I don't care about who I'm affecting. That's what I want to do. But I'm not that person, I can't just give up because I want to. People are counting on me, The storm that would come if I pulled out of the show now, I would most probably be shunned from my agency and I'd never get any jobs again. The harsh reality is, I'm doing this to myself. And I cant stop.

There's a line of girls behind me, most of them counting their blessings they don't trip on their trains or heel breaks. I hear the first beats thump in my heart, the artist they have performing for the show tonight I've never heard of. I think his name may be Harry Styles. I know I've heard it somewhere but I can't quite place where. At first, it sounds like a choir maybe, it reminds me of angels, I realise how it fits the Victoria Angels showcase. When artists engage with the girls and do things special for the show my heart bursts. A smile appears on my face for the first time tonight, just as I was worried, as soon as the music starts to play. I feel like I'm in my moment. I realise how much I enjoy performing, I laugh to myself catching some attention and raised eyebrows from some crew around me.

I just wave them off with a head shake, I take a breath looking to the ceiling letting myself be influenced by the music. I feel like when you first hear something so special you just need to take a moment you know.

Then the beat drops and once in a while you hear 'woohoo' and some bass play. And just how I thought I was good, it gets great. I already know it's going to be on repeat after tonight. The temptation to just peak my head around the corner to see who's singing but knowing that I'm first on stage prevents me. I feel someone pull my head in to kiss my head, we all know that kissing on the cheek with lipstick 10 seconds before showtime may end up in our asses getting beat.