Sweet [H.S]

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Iris White

I nearly let it slip yesterday, that I had indeed had something to talk to Harry about. Even though I'm not ready at all to spill it to him.

I'm shitting myself,

Having a family had always been a dream of mine... even if half of mine was never present. But that dream got pushed away, when I see little families on the street a smile always makes way on my face. Seeing how they love their babies. But I didn't want my family to happen like this, it's crazy to think once in my life I thought I was ready,

At least I don't think I can, with Harry not going to be there, me practically losing my job over this, my life will go to shit and I'll end up one of those failed models raising a kid by herself. I honestly give so much praise to them, they put everything on the line for their baby. I'm not sure if I'm ready to do that.

I'm in the prime of my career, jobs are now being booked like wildfire. I'm not sure if I could manage sleepless nights, a deteriorating body, and no boyfriend to help me. I'm scared of Harry's reaction, and I know I'll have to tell him. Tell him soon, maybe this weekend. I have to.

My head rests against the cold aeroplane window, I prefer flying commercial to private it makes me feel as though I'm nothing different than who I was before being welcomed into a world of fame and fortune. This might seem obvious but it does change your life significantly, not only does the number of jobs you get increase, but paps are always on the lookout, you have to be more cautious in what cities you go in. Especially alone. Sometimes it feels like you can't get a minute alone, that's why I spend a significant amount of time in my apartment, it may seem lazy or exhausting but my daily schedules are normally:

Sleep, sometimes workout, drive a lot of the time and sleep.

And then Harry made his way into my life a-lot... but that's another story,

Sometimes I'll go out with some girls I have in contact with but usually, I prefer myself, and Dylan... I hate how Ophelia isn't living in NYC. But partially a reason I agreed with Harry is that Ophelia is in La...

I would never have agreed to Harry so fast if I didn't find out the news I did, if he hadn't put a fucking kid inside of me, I'm pretty sure I'd have let him a ring. Let him wonder where I've been for the past months. Let him fucking cry about not knowing if your child will have a present father. Just let him take every fucking worry I've had for the past month and place it on him, all in the course of a day.

Harry wouldn't do that, I'm pretty sure Harry would tell me to abort it, he wanted nothing to do with it.

It pains me to think that, It did hurt when he'd left that call that night not to speak to me again in weeks but I had to endure with the fact that he's out touring half of America right now and it wouldn't be my place to call him up crying, saying how I needed him to stay in my life. I'm not in love with Harry, nor do I even want to be in a 'not fake' relationship with him but he has put the but he has to deal with the impacts of maybe having a child to care for.

I can't put all the blame on Harry, If only I asked him to wear a fucking condom If only that fucking birth control worked.

Ah,

If only I stopped forgetting to take it... Shit, well it may be my fault. I've put this burden on harry and I'm too ashamed to even own up to it and just tell him. Fuck Iris sort yourself out,

I'm jumped awake by the pressure of the wheels landing on the tarmac, a bunch of claps arise from the touch down making me cover my ears and groan into my jumper covering my nose and mouth,