Where Do We Go From Here?

[M][TW] GONE

(Alternate Ending)

Sana

It has been five years since Dahyun left.

When I rushed to the hospital, I thought that something wrong had happened to her. It turns out that she just wants my focus somewhere else while she sneaks off to God knows where.

I thought that us divorcing was the darkest point of my life, but learning that she left us without any warning. Made my world crumble down for real. That was the darkest part of my life.

I was lost.

I almost lost my will to live too. The most painful part was explaining everything to Jeongwoo. How do I tell our child that her dada just chose to forget about him? Her parents were no help as they said that they also didn't know what happened to her. But Tzuyu was there to pick up the pieces with me.

And it took years before I was able to open up my heart to her.

Something that I am thankful that I was able to do, because she has been great and very attentive to Jeongwoo and I. And I can't thank her enough for that.

She left early with Jeongwoo as it's a Saturday and they have this weekly promise to go to the parks and play.

But sometimes, I wonder what she looks like now. Is she okay? Happy? It was like she never existed at all. In my mind, she was this goofball that I fell in love with, with beautiful hair, handsome features. The person that used to walk along the corridors of our school with me. We're thick as thieves. So many what-ifs, but also so many good memories that would never happen again. My brain accepted that, but my heart still holds on.

I heard someone ringing the doorbell.

I stood up and opened the door, it was Chaeyoung.

She's staring at me with those sad eyes, and my heart suddenly beats rapidly, but I tried to brush it off. "Hi Chae! It's been a year since I last saw you. Come in, come in!"

I stepped aside so that she could come in.

"I came here because of Dahyun's final request."

Her statement was met by my silence, and as if the volume had been turned back up, the sound of my heart beat floods my ears again.

"How can— wait... Dahyun?" I eventually asked.

She then handed me a thick envelope and guided me towards my own couch.

We sat together in silence, something that I can't remember Chaeyoung ever doing, even before she was always this loud and happy go lucky. This is the first time that I've seen her this solemn.

I took a deep rattling breath, and prepared myself to open the envelope that's in my hand. Maybe it contains the answers that I've needed to hear.

"She has always loved you, you know." I hear Chaeyoung exhaling sharply. "And you may never forgive me after this, but I just need to do this as her last wish. It bothered me that this is the path that she chose, but I am just a friend, and it was already too late."

I looked down at the violet envelope with white ink. I ran my finger over the handwriting. It was really hers. I carefully opened it and unfolded the letter. I took a deep breath and steeled myself as I looked over the handwriting.

Dear Sana,

If you're reading this then it only means that... Chaeyoung came through with her promise.

And it also means that I am /gone passed/ dead. 

I guess, there's no other way to put it.