Broken Mirror

Chapter 4

I heard the gunshots, I saw the gunshots. The gun and the drugs is what took him away from me.
Me: baby what's wrong? Why are you acting like this?
As he stood there looking out the window as if someone was coming any minute now. He was so paranoid and his lips were so white as if he just ate a powder donut, he grabbed me and told me that he wasn't gonna hurt me but he can't let me go because he loved his family too much. I have never seen him like this. I couldn't do anything but cry and beg him to stop this and tell me what's wrong. I saw this guy walk into the house. I had never seen him before. I had my head down while the other guy was over top of me. When the cops arrived and tried to come into the house someone started shooting, I'm not sure who because my face was buried into the floor. I tried to look up to see if my kids were ok but the guy just wouldn't let me up. When I finally got the chance to look up my daughter was standing by the window where it was shattered from the bullet the cops let into the house. My 2 year old son was standing near the door where the police dog was entering, and somehow the cop dog was shot. I couldn't see who shot the dog or where any of the shots were coming from. The day turned into night and when me and my kids finally got out all i wanted to do was save the love of my life because he wasn't his self and i know deep down he wouldn't do anything to hurt me or my kids, he was there for me and my kids when i had nothing and for him to just utterly change and such a bad way i knew something was wrong. Nights before we sat on the floor and he talked to me, he didn't say much but he did inform me that he think someone was trying to kill him and he had to do what he had to do to save his family, when i asked him who he decided to switch the subject, he got up walked into the kitchen and said just know your "niggas" not your real "niggas" they switch on you. I sat there without our 4 month old son and suspense as if i was in a movie, a movie i couldn't wake up from. He told me to never repeat what he told me no matter what, after the shooting the cops harassed me as if i was the damn criminal. I didn't know what to do i was scared,young and fucking clueless. They came to my job and threatened to take my kids away from me if I didn't do what they asked.

I loved him so much, I couldn't see my life without him. The things I was forced to say about him hurt me so bad. He was everything to me.

Living this life i forgot my name was paula

I woke up to him laying next to me, maybe I was dreaming because he was right here. The smell of his degree deodorant was on my pillow case and the softness of his lips were on mine, i looked up to see that he was staring at me with this glare in his eye and he whispered i loved you, whenever he hurts I hurt, I knew things were right. Idk how I missed the signs, they were right there in my face. I planted myself just into him, I saw no other man but him. The way he talked, the way he walked and laughed was just my everyday life. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare but I couldn't.