Finding My Way

Just to Be Where You Are

It turns out that sitting in an airport for almost eleven hours gives you a lot of time for thinking. The biggest problem my mind came up with? What if he doesn't want me back? What if it takes him until the moment he sees me again to decide he never wanted me in the first place?
I couldn't get out of the what-if rabbit hole even if I wanted to. It was either picture how it was going to play out, or scroll through social media and see every single thing I've been tagged in. And social media is what got me into this mess in the first place, so I went with the former option. If you prepare for the worst, you'll be ready for anything. At least that's what I was telling myself.
"Gate five, to JFK, is now boarding. I repeat, gate five to JFK is now boarding,"the announcer says over the PA system.
Finally, I think to myself as I get up, slinging my backpack on my shoulder on the way towards the plane. I quickly scan my ticket and walk down the terminal. Finding my seat wasn't too hard, as it was near the back of the plane by the flight attendants.
I sit down in my seat against the window, gently shoving the backpack under the seat in front of me when a flight attendant walks by.
"Oh, is that all you packed?" She asks, putting her hand on the seat next to me with a concerned look.
"Yeah... should I have packed more?" I ask nervously.
"It's the beginning of December," she says, as if that explains everything.
"And?" I prompt.
"New York is very... cold this time of year," she doesn't say it unkindly, but I can tell she's trying not to talk down to me when she says, "it snows there. You're going to be freezing."
"Oh..." I let my voice trail off. Why did it never occur to me to check the weather for there and pack accordingly? I don't think I even own a winter jacket. "Well this is going to be fun," I laugh.
The flight attendant laughs before continuing to walk down the isle, checking on other passengers.
I check the tour schedule he left me, the vip pass already hanging on my neck, to see when the concert is supposed to end. It's supposed to end at ten. I won't land until 9:35.

***

The flight attendant wasn't kidding when she said it'd be cold here. Standing outside of the airport as I wait for an uber, I couldn't help but wish I'd been a little smarter with my choices. I could've done my research before jumping on a plane. Hell, I could've just waited for him to get back home. Why didn't I just do that?
I glance at the clock on my phone, 9:45. The concert venue was twenty minutes away. If the Uber got here right now, I still wouldn't make it. Hopefully they'll still let me in.
The Uber pulls up in front of me and I quickly jump in.
"Can you please step on it? It's kind of an emergency."
"What level of emergency?" The driver asks as she pulls away from the curb.
"If I don't make it he might not take me back," I say in a rush, shivering.
"Got it," she turns the heat up before stepping on the gas, weaving through traffic like my life depended on it. "He must be very special to you, coming to New York without so much as a sweater," she notes my bare, goose-bumped arms.
I laugh breathlessly, "let's just say I wasn't thinking before I hopped on the plane."
She shakes her head, "true love will do that to ya."
"I hope it is... true love, I mean." I roll the flash drive between my hands, thinking about what I'm going to say to Chase when I see him again.
"Any idea what you're going to say to him?" She asks, practically reading my mind.
"No idea," I shake my head with a small smile.
"You don't have to get the words right the first time, if it's from the heart, he'll know."
I nod, meeting her eyes in the rear view mirror, "I hope so."
"Okay, we're here," she says and I look up to see she's right.
"Great, thank you so much!" I quickly get out of the car and check the time to see it's exactly ten o'clock.
She rolls down the passenger window, "for what it's worth, I hope it works out for you."
"Thank you. Me too," I say before rushing into the building.
Everyone's leaving the concert, making it nearly impossible to weave my way through the crowd. They would barely part for me, constantly bumping into me with their shoulders, and not looking back or acknowledging me.
Suddenly, I break free from the crowd and am headed straight for the concert stage when a body guard stops me.
"Miss, you can't go in there," he says in a bored tone.
"But I have to! I have a vip pass," I hold the lanyard up.
"The concert ended ten minutes ago, you can't go in there."
"Ten minutes? Really?"
He simply nods in response.
"You don't understand, it's an emergency. I need to talk to him, I need to talk to Chase." I try to walk past him but he grabs my arm, stopping me in my tracks.
"Miss, you're gonna have to come with me." He leads me away from the stage, taking me back to the front doors of the venue.
"Let go of me," I try to wiggle out of his grasp but fail.
"Have a good night," he says coldly as he leaves me outside the venue in the freezing cold.
I turn around and look at the building before me. What was I supposed to do now? That was my only chance to surprise him... and I completely blew it.
Looking through the doors, I see the security guard that kicked me out is still there, eyeing me carefully. So trying to sneak back in was out. Did I really just spend one hundred dollars just to be stranded in this freezing cold city without a jacket?
I quickly get my phone out and try calling Chase, praying to god he has his phone on him and will answer me. It rings and rings and rings, then the voicemail picks up.
I hang up and try again, but I get the same result.
As my final resort, I open twitter and tweet:

@/yourusername: i'm here... but i'm too late

And tag the venue as my location, hoping that his fans will work their magic.
After sending the tweet, I walk down a little further and sit down on one of the steps leading up to the building. I gasp when the cold concrete presses into my leggings, almost instantly regretting my decision.
My phone buzzes in my hand incessantly, all from Chase's fans tagging him and another girl called Priscilla in my tweet.
"Must be his new girlfriend," I mutter to myself before locking my phone.
After a few minutes, I stand up and start to walk away when a voice stops me.
"Were you really going to give up that easily?"
I turn around to see Chase standing where I originally was sitting, bundled in a hoodie with a winter jacket on over it, a beanie covering his hair.
A small smile plays on my lips as I say, "well, it's not like I have your skills. I couldn't make them let me in."