Finding My Way

The Truth and Other Choices

We sit down at our favorite spot at the beach, listening to the waves crash onto the shore. Chase stretches his legs out on either side of me, and I lean back into his chest. With each crash of a wave, I relax into him a little more.
He moves the fabric of the hoodie out of his way as he nuzzles into my neck. His breath tickles my neck and a laugh escapes my lips. He plants a soft kiss on my neck before resting his chin on my right shoulder.
"I'm sorry... about your mom," he whispers. "I'm not sure what happened but... I know it's going to be hard for you. But I'm here, okay? I'll always be here for you. Whatever you need."
"I know," I whisper back with a nod. "I didn't really tell you what happened, though."
"If you want to, you can. I'm not going to pressure you to." I can almost hear the shrug in his voice.
"I," I sigh, trying to find the right words to say. "I didn't exactly move out of my parents house." I stop, but he doesn't push me further. "She kicked me out," my voice cracks, finally voicing the truth feels like another blow to my heart.
"What?!" He fights to keep his voice at a neutral level, but I can tell he's far from happy about the news I just gave him.
I take a deep breath, "she basically gave me the choice of you or her." I shrug helplessly, "I guess you know my choice."
"She made you choose?!" His chest heaves up and down with his breaths, pressing against my chest with each inhale.
"Chase, it's not a big deal," I try to reassure him, but now I'm rethinking why I thought telling him this was a good idea. I should've known he'd be upset about the choices I was given.
He stands up abruptly, causing me to fall back, saving myself only with the palms of my hands. Rocks that were hidden in the sand press roughly into my palms and I wince as I push myself up to stand.
He starts pacing back and forth, "how is it not a big deal, y/n?? She kicked you out of your own home."
"Yeah, Chase. I know. I was there," I try to keep the bitterness out of my voice and fail. Why is he the one pissed off? It happened to me, I should be pissed.
He stops in his tracks and turns to me, "this is my fault."
I cross my arms, "how is it your fault?"
"Because if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't be fighting with your mother. She wouldn't have kicked you out. You wouldn't have chosen me."
"And what then?" I ask, completely fed up with his thought process. "What would I do in a life without you? Because if the last couple of months have showed me anything, it's that life fucking sucks without you in it."
I close the distance between us, staring straight into his eyes, willing him to understand why I did what I did. "I chose you because I fucking love you."
He opens his mouth, then shuts it again, slowly processing my words. "I- you- what?"
I laugh, "you heard me, dummy. I love you." It's not like it's the first time I've said it to him, but he reacts like it is. "I don't know if you thought I didn't mean it before, but I do love you, Chase. I think I've always loved you."
"But what about your family?" He asks. "They're your family. You can't just... not pick them."
I shake my head, "don't you see? They didn't pick me."
He shakes his head, "then they're pretty stupid. Because you're kinda great."
"Kinda?" I laugh. "Yeah, I love you too, jerk."
He smiles, "I love you, princess."
He cups my face in between his hands and pulls me closer to him.
Once I'm an inch away from him, he stops and looks into my eyes. We don't say anything, but our eyes say it all. We know how we feel about each other, and we know it'll never change. Nothing could tear us apart, even if it wanted to.
Finally, he presses his lips to mine in a lingering kiss.