𝕣𝕖𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕤𝕡𝕖𝕔𝕥 || 𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕧𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕥𝕠𝕟

TWENTY-TWO

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INHIBITED
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IRINA SLEPT FOR a total of one hour in the night. All in short fifteen minute intervals. Every time she would fall asleep she would have a nightmare. A flashback would be the more appropriate word to use. These happened a lot when she first arrived in Hawkins, but ever since she had found comfort in Steve, they didn't happen as often.

However, this whole thing with the code and the Russians had been somewhat triggering and was provoking her nightmares and flashbacks. And she was at her own house tonight. El was with Max and she hadn't a clue where Hopper was. It hit 3:30am and she couldn't sleep at all. Whenever she felt like this, she always rang Steve. But it wasn't usually at this time of night. She knew if she called him then he would go out of his way to drive to her house, but she didn't want him doing that. Not in the storm. So, instead, Irina decided to flip the coin.

This rain wasn't like the rain on Steve and Irina's first date. It didn't make her feel euphoric or like she was the only girl in the world. This rain chilled her to her core and made her shiver as she jogged up Steve's driveway. His parents were away on a business trip - again.

Irina rang the doorbell twice and folded her arms around her to try and preserve warmth. She was only wearing her night shorts and vest with a thin raincoat over the top, which did nothing to stop the storm.
It didn't take Steve long to get to the door. He didn't look like he had gotten much sleep himself. His face dropped when he saw the sight in front of him. Irina stood shivering with her arms crossed around her and she was soaked from the rain with a tear stained face, wearing nothing but pyjamas and a rain coat.

"Babe, what the hell happened? C'mere." Steve cooed, gently pulling Irina through the door before closing at and pulling her tightly into his arms. He felt her body shake with sobs against his. It broke him to know that she was suffering.

"Every time I close my eyes, Steve." She cried into his chest.

"I've got you." He whispered and rested his head atop of her wet hair. It didn't bother him in the slightest. "How about we go to bed, hm?" Steve asked and he felt Irina nod and begin to remove her raincoat.

Steve's bedroom always made Irina feel secure. The time she spent in his room was always pleasant and homely. Whether it was sleeping, talking, or even more intimate activities. She always had a warm feeling. Although, she didn't feel that right now. She sat on his bed with her legs crossed and pulled close to her chest. Steve insisted on grabbing her one of his shirts to change into instead of sleeping in her wet pyjamas.

Irina didn't feel that warm feeling because she felt as if she was burdening Steve. She knew that Steve would say otherwise, but she just couldn't shake the feeling. Why would Steve - the high school heartthrob, who had the looks to make any girl swoon and all his parents money to inherit - want her? The girl that woke him up because of her night terrors. The girl that no one noticed in the year she spent in high school. The girl with a dark past.

"Irina? Baby?" She hadn't even noticed Steve calling her name. He perched on the bed besides her and placed his hand on top on hers.

"Why do you do it, Steve?" She murmured, barely above a whisper.

"What?" Steve asked, confused at her words.

"Why do you do it? Wake up at four in the morning because I was crying? W-why do you kiss me and hug me and take me out a-and why do you care about me when you deserve so much more?" She rambled, letting more tears fall from her eyes. "When I have such a fucked up past. You could have anyone but you chose me. The perfect girl. I can't give you what other people can, Steve. I can't give you a normal life." She cried. Steve sighed and shook his head. He laid himself besides her, still holding her hand he began to interlock his fingers with hers.

"I didn't get the grades to go to college. I couldn't even get into tech, Irina. I make $3 an hour at an ice cream shop because my douchebag dad is trying to teach me a lesson." Steve said before looking up at her. "And you're trying to say that you don't deserve me?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Irina shuffled so she was now laying besides Steve instead of sitting. She opened her mouth to speak, but Steve beat her to it.

"Remember when you told me you wanted to leave Hawkins?" Steve asked and Irina nodded. "One day we'll leave. We'll move to a little house in a small neighbourhood and we can start a family. Kids, you know, as long as they all look like you." Steve said, making Irina giggle a little.

"See. As long as they have that cute smile they'll be the most beautiful kids in the world. And we can get married." Steve smiled, bringing Irina's hand up and placing kisses on her knuckles. "I swear as long as I've got you I've got a future." He added, but Irina's smile slowly faded.

"That's a long shot when you have me as your girlfriend, Steve." She frowned.

"I don't think so. You just never had a chance. But, you know, if all that doesn't work out, then we'll just... roll with it." Steve said.

"Roll with it?" Irina questioned, not entirely sure what that meant.

"Yeah, you know. Go with the flow. Take what life gives us. As long as I have you I've already got everything I want. You are the perfect girl." Steve said.

"Sometimes I think you forget the things I've done. I've killed people, Steve." She whimpered slightly.

"And sometimes I think you forget that you didn't have a choice." Steve reminded her, wiping her fallen tear with his thumb.

"D-do you really want that life with me? The house? The kids? To get married?" Irina asked.

"There's no one else I'd want to have that life with." Steve told her. The smile Steve adored returned to Irina's face and she shuffled closer to him.

"Я люблю тебя Steve." Irina grinned.

"What does that mean?" Steve asked with a smile.

"It means 'I love you, Steve'." Irina chuckled, snuggling closer to him.

"I love you, too, Irina. More than you know." Steve wrapped his arms around her securely.

"You changed my life without realising, Steve. I can't even imagine where I'd be if I hadn't met you. But I know it wouldn't be a good place." Irina whispered.

"That's exactly what you did to me too." Steve whispered back to her. The two of them slept a somewhat peaceful sleep after that.