Things Are Not What They Seem

Part 2: Sunshine I'm Sorry

I woke covered in blankets that smelled like death and French fries, which was surprisingly not a bad smell...

I yawned and sat up, and saw Nico looking at me, he seemed concerned and then I remembered last night, and burst into tears (again).

He sat down with me on the bed and laid me down and just we laid there for awhile and you could hear my sobs fading out. Once I stopped crying, the first thing I did was apologize.

"I'm sorry Sunshine."
"Don't you fucking dare apologize for something that you have no control over. It is not your fault at all you are this way."

His words surprised me, but we're comforting and I snuggled closer to him under the covers, enjoying his presence, but not his cold feet. I was okay this moment, and somewhat enjoying life. It was nice, until my depression hit me again, and I lost all of my little bits and pieces of happiness to a big void of feelings. He noticed, and awkwardly wrapped his arms around me in a comforting way. Death Boy can be compassionate oddly enough.

We laid there for maybe an hour in silence. Then he got up, and dragged me with him, and I didn't stop him because I was getting hungry. We went to the pavilion to get some breakfast, and I only got an apple and some milk.

Nico brought all of our food to his cabin, and he brought a lot of food.

"Who's all of that for?"
"You stupid. Do you honestly think an apple is gonna get you through the day? Come on Will. I'm gonna help you out."

I sighed. He was probably gonna make me eat. Well, he's as stubborn as me, and it's kinda cute how he cares for me.

But then theres the question of, does he actually care? Is this pity or sympathy? I'm confused, but I do eventually eat. The Hades cabin is nice because the temperature isn't bad, it's quiet, and it's isolated from the rest of the world. We sat together on his bed, slowly eating food, and I saw him eyeing me from the corner of my eye. Does he actually care, or does he know I'm looking? Probably knows I'm looking and is pitying my sorry ass.

I don't eat much, but it's enough to satisfy him. It relaxing, but terrifying because the silence was deafening. I was with him, but was alone with my thoughts. We were sitting up on his bed and I just calmly laid my head in his lap, and started to cry again.

He didn't hesitate to allow it, and he even started to massage my head, back, and shoulders to sooth me.

But the tears wouldn't end.

I felt so weak and broken. All of my emotions came tumbling out, and no words were even said. I eventually fell asleep, to Nico murmuring comforting words in I think Italian. It was surprisingly better than English, but how would I know he isn't mumbling cabbage over and over again.

But I fell asleep in his lap, even though it was a little bony. It was nice to just have someone there.

Sleep is an escape for me, because I can forget the stupid world.

Stupid thoughts.

Stupid feelings.

Stupid ME.

Sleep was alright, but I wanted to do so forever, just lay in his lap.

I over course woke to him not being there, and me being tucked in his black sheets, and a little note.

'Dear Will,
I've gone out to get you some food and water, and also I have some duties to take care of. I hope you are still living.
Be safe -Nico'

Safe? I'll never be safe again if you haven't noticed. But I sighed, and felt in that moment, safer than I'd ever been, in a long time.