Things Are Not What They Seem

Part 9: The Rest of the Normal Day

"T-Thank you..."
"Of course! You have a wonderful voice!"
"Do you wanna pack up or stay out here a little longer?"
"Whatever you'd like."
"I was asking you dumbass, I didn't want my opinion included..."

I sighed.

"Ummm I don't know...let's go back I think it's getting dark."
"The sunset is very pretty."
"Yeah. It really is. Actually lets stay a little longer."

We sat there for about ten minutes, watching the colors fade. It was beautiful, and a little sad.

But I guess everything ends.

So we went back, got dinner, and sat outside in the forest for a few hours in silence even after we finished eating. We just held hands, and stared at the endless stars.

We knew that it felt like it would never end, but it did unfortunately.

When it got so dark we could barely see each other, we knew it was time to go in.

"Hey I think we should go back to your cabin..."
"Yeah I was thinking the same thing, I can't see anything though."
"Here, I'll guide you."

I took his hand, walked him to his cabin. His hand was warm, and I hoped he felt as safe as I did.

We got back to his cabin, and he looked so happy and alive. He seemed out of breath, like a little kid after running around. His eyes shone with delight, and joy. It was really cute.

His little giggly smile, bubbly laughter, and rosy cheeks.

I wanted to kiss him so badly....

But I didn't.

Because who would love me?

I stayed up with him, he was high on the moment of staring at the stars, and the feeling of wow my existence actually is true. It's a beautiful feeling. But it rarely happens to me anymore.

I saw how happy he was, and stayed up with him for hours, talking and talking with him. The night was long, and I felt the cold air in my veins, and his smile, man it was beautiful.

But I was depressed, and he was not. The smile he smiled was real, and mine was not. He was beautiful, and I, was not.

When he smiled, the world stopped, and I couldn't breathe.

After a few long hours of faking a smile, he finally went to sleep.

I went into the bathroom, and looked at my ugly face in the mirror.

"Disgusting..."

I murmured.

I looked around for my blades.

And I was having such a nice little clean streak....

Well that's over now.

I found my blades, and even though I had no good reason to...

I did it anyway.

I got my friend, the cold metal blade, and smile when I saw how inviting the texture would feel against my pale skin...

The feeling of blood running down my thighs, arms, and stomach. So many cuts to do, so little time...

I sighed happily. The pain was back.

I slid the blade against my skin, and let the blood drip, drip, drip....

After a few other cuts, I finished.

I saw my blood, and was so caught up in the moment I didn't even realize that someone had opened the door.

"Will...?"

Nico looked at me, and rubbed his eyes.

"What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing."
"Nothing!"

I hid my the cuts to the best I could, and sat on my blades.

"Do you think I'm blind?! I saw the blood, it's on my damn bathroom floor! I saw your freakin cuts too!"

He sighed, and sat down with me.

"Do you need anything? Food? Water? Hugs? Anything at all?"

I blushed...he was being too nice.

"You want a kiss?"

I turned bright red.

"Huh?!"
"I'll kiss your cuts. Every time I kiss one, I'll say something wonderful that I love about you."
"W-Why suddenly do you want to do this?"
"Because why the fuck not?"

I sighed. I mumbled an okay, and he pulled up my sleeves.

"Wow...you have a lot. Good thing there are millions of good things about you."
"Like what?"
"Like..."

He kissed a cut on my wrist.

"Your real smile, is stunning."

I blushed, and he kissed another cut.

"You have a beautiful laugh."

I turned redder, he was embarrassing me. These things weren't true either.

He kissed a cut on the inside of my elbow.

"The way your eyes flutter when you read."

He kissed another, and another. All over my arms, was the tingling feeling of his lips on my skin.

"Your beautiful blue eyes, and your sweet voice."

One after another, he kissed all of my scars. It took hours, but he kissed all the ones on my arms.

"That's all of the ones on your arms, I don't think we're quite ready for your legs."
"Yeah maybe not."

He giggled.

"Now let's get you into some comfy clothes, and let's cuddle for the rest of the night, ya?"
"Okay..."

I changed into a t-shirt and took off my pants, and he smiled at me sweetly, and took my hands and lead me to his bed.

He pulled me, and I was spooning him, but I could comfortably wrap my arms around his waist. He was warm, and smiled nice. Everything about him was nice. I kissed his ear, and we fell asleep in each other's arms.