Things Are Not What They Seem

Part 19: A Dance

(This chapter is gonna be super fluffy)

After he had that long cry, I decided since he wasn't really being affected by his illness, that I would try and cheer him up.

We went back to his cabin, and sat together on his bed. I held his hand, it felt warm and soft in mine, I squeezed it, and asked him again.

"Are you sure you don't wanna do anything? We've got plenty of time to do whatever you'd like today."

He blushed. Shit. That sounded dirty didn't it.

"Ummm I don't know what you have in mind but I don't feel like having sex again....no matter how much I enjoyed it."

He enjoyed it?! What the hell...I don't...why did he bring this up? I'll just change the topic.

"U-Uh that wasn't what I was thinking...I was thinking like going to the river or binge watching random crap on Netflix."
"Ohhhh! Got it. I've got an idea. Why don't we dance?"
"What do you mean?"
"Like slow dancing, but faster. I've got a song in mind."
"Great. What is it?"
"Tear In My Heart, it's by twenty one pilots."
"Nice. Could you get it set up?"
"Sure."

He got out his phone and set it on his desk, and the song started up, and I grabbed his sweaty hands.

We started to move to the beat, stumbling and tripping all over each other, since we're stupid ass dorks.

Sometimes you gotta bleed to know
That you're alive and have a soul

I held him close to me, we moved out of order, but we knew it felt right to be a mess, for once.

But it takes someone to come around
To show you how

We danced, not really even together, but we held hands and twirled each other around, smiling and laughing.

She's the tear in my heart
I'm alive
She's the tear in my heart
I'm on fire
She's the tear in my heart
Take me higher
Than I've ever been

I fell deeper in love with him, watching him just be him, like a wall between us had been removed and we were free as we danced on Nico's black carpet.

The songs on the radio are okay
But my taste in music is your FACE

The only things that were real were the wooden floor against our toes, the music, our feet stomping around, and the bits of light peeking in the window, and shining on us.

And it takes a song to come around
To show you how

She's the tear in my heart
I'm alive
She's the tear in my heart
I'm on fire
She's the tear in my heart
Take me higher
Than I've ever been

Than I've ever been
Than I've ever been
Than I've ever been

He started to sing along, and I knew his beautiful and smooth voice would definitely carry out this love song, perfectly.

You fell asleep in my car I drove the whole time
But that's okay I'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine

I didn't know he could be so perfect, even though he was no where near it.

I'm driving here I sit
Cursing my government
For not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement

He looked dazzling, his hair shimmering in the afternoon sun, and his voice resonating throughout the cabin, a beautiful melody.

You fell asleep in my car I drove the whole time
Buts that's okay I'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine

He looked at me, with sweaty palms and a silly smile, and oh how I wished I could frame that moment, for awhile.

I'm driving here I sit
Cursing my government
For not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement

I wanted that small and perfect moment, to be easy to keep, but it slipped through my grasp.

Sometimes you gotta bleed and know, oh, oh
That you're alive and have a soul, oh, oh

I would put it on my bedside table, and whenever I'd feel the urge to bleed out on my bathroom floor, I'd look at it, and relive it.

But it takes someone to come around
To show you how

That's what the moment was. It was joy, love, happiness, hope.

She's the tear in my heart
I'm alive
She's the tear in my heart
I'm on fire
She's the tear in my heart
Take me higher
Than I've ever been

We danced. We smiled. We lived.

My heart is my armor
She's the tear in my heart
She's the carver
She's a butcher with a smile
Cut me farther
Than I've ever been

Than I've ever been
Than I've ever been
Than I've ever been

I feel like most depressed people, or just people with mental illnesses in general, get their dose of happiness every now and then, but choose to focus on the badness, the sadness, because negativity sticks out.

My heart is my armor
She's the tear in my heart
She's a carver
She's a butcher with a smile
Cut me farther
Than I've ever been

The song stopped, and we were out of breath, but never had we been more happy. We landed on the floor, I felt the fuzzy black carpet beneath us, and we laid there and looked at each other.

As we laid there, I smiled, and leaned in, and for the first time in a few months, he kissed back.

This moment was one of those moments where you are so grateful you've been blessed with you're life that you want to break down into tears and scream THANK GOD IM HERE and have your neighbors look at you funny or some shit.

If you're depressed or suffering because of your illness, remember I love you, dear reader. I love you. It's as simple and beautiful as that. I love you so much, and I'm so proud of you for fighting, even if you give up, I'm so proud. Thank you.

We shared a sweet kiss, and I felt the months easing away, we were okay.

Actually we were better than that.

We were happy.

Laying there on the creaky wooden floor, hearing each other's pants, and seeing each other's smiles, we were happy.

And that was all that mattered.

(Awwwwwww!!!! Babes :') IM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN LIKE FIVE YEARS *sc RE Ams* anyways to all of my gals, guys, all of the above, none of the above, or somewhere in between, I UPDATED!!!! Yayyyyy!! Fluff is so great :3 I hope you enjoyed this! I love you guys!!!! P.S. If you didn't see the song name and author, it's Tear In My Heart by twenty one pilots!)