50 Things I Don't Know About "K"

I Wanted To

I don't remember a thing aside from that accident and it feels lonely somehow... it was cold and my whole body felt numb. At the same time, the back of my head was strangely bearing this heavy pressure.

Everything smelled like blood.

I could see nothing but black and hear faint noises that seemingly came from a bunch of people as well as metallic clanking noises— was that a pair of scissors?

Really, I don't remember or know what's going on. But it's probably something I've decided on if I have ever woken up earlier.

Then abruptly, even though I could see nothing, it was weird how a bunch of memories flashed before my eyes.

Huh, am I going to die?

I couldn't help but snicker, well at least in this tiny bit of consciousness that still remained.

I wondered what the afterlife would look like until the people dear to me suddenly passed my mind. The memories flashed before me, showing the bond we all have spent together.

This made me think how meeting her really made a big difference in my life.

Can't believe that I made quite a handful of good friends the moment I bumped into her accidentally like that— where everything started to change...

Yu Jimin.

Just mentioning her makes me feel all warm and fuzzy! Gee, I guess I love her that much.

It's just a shame that this shitty incident happened.

Heh, at least I made a lot of fun memories because of her, and I'm truly thankful.

Even if it makes me disappointed.

I wish...  I could've said something to her before this happened.

Whew! Thankfully, I have no more regrets— Hahahaha, I determined it just like that as if it was the case.

Of course, I have a lot of regrets. The more I think, the more I remembered how this occurrence was supposed to befall me a very long time ago.

Funny how I wished this years ago in place of my seniors.

Well, to the very least, to feel happiness and understand emotions once again felt really great. And it was all because of her.

Thinking about it feels me with joy.

It wasn't that long. However, I believe that I lived a fulfilling life.

I may have a lot of regrets but at least it wasn't that many.

But you know, I really wanted to do a lot of things. There were heaps of things I wanted to do.

Yu Jimin... Ms. Goddess... Karina... or just Rina...

I wanted to graduate with her.

Hold a wedding— Rina donned in pure white would definitely be the end of me, I can imagine how beautiful she would look in a wedding dress.

Oh, the park!

I want to stroll around the park with her and draw a proper portrait of her, can't forget that we major in art. Pfft, unlike that other time where the both of us were kind of forced just because it was a task.

Then I want to officially live together. I may not show it but, being neighbors really wasn't just enough for me.

I want to feel her warmth every time I wake up in the morning. I mean, occasionally she sleeps over... though living together just hits different.

And of course, I wanted to know how it felt like to be a mother.

We either do IVF or just adopt, doesn't really matter. A daughter would be nice, I want to say how cute she is every day. But if it's a boy... I wonder if we could play kendo together?

Because of my mental conditions, I could not help but think if I'll ever be troublesome if I had a family with her.

I'm not even sure if I'm hallucinating again or if all of this is real. Maybe even perhaps... all of this experience is The Hallucination?

Shit, the thought of it really scares me... and if it is then...

Please don't ever wake me up.

Nevertheless, if we were to have children I wanted to certainly teach them a lot of good things.

That's my dream.

And if I'm really dying right now— I hope... I hope Rina could continue living happily without a care in the world.

Maybe even marry someone else...?

But I didn't really feel very sad or miserable, yet. She was always really popular, so a person like me wouldn't have suited her. And I felt even comfortable as I considered this situation to be reasonable.

Hahahaha...ha... No, I don't want that.

I actually don't want to hand her over to anyone else. Makes me think again...

Rina... I just wanted to be with her for a little bit longer.

But she comes first before everything.

So would it be too late to say this?

I really don't want to die.