Collide / [Park Jay]

23

Weeks have passed and I'm slowly getting used to living alone and making decisions on my own. I've been wanting to do this for a long time and I'm glad to say that somehow, everything's falling into their right places. Nararamdaman ko rin na parang mas nagiging komportable na ako sa paligid ko, kumpara noong mga unang linggo nang paglipat ko dito. My apartment is starting to feel like home. I have people I can call friends. I learned how to spend my time well. Para sa akin, sobrang laking bagay na noon.

"Parang never ka pa naming nakasama mag-hangout ever since you moved here. May problema ka ba sa amin?" Nakasimangot na biro ni Sunhee. Nasa cafeteria kami ngayon dahil lunch break and we were just talking about our common interests. Pareho silang mahilig mag-out of town and gumala. While me.. well, I'm just a homebody. Obviously.

"Oo nga. You're always busy." Hana complained as well.

"We're always together here at school. Hangout na rin naman 'to, 'di ba?" Sabi ko, bahagyang natatawa.

I sipped on my orange juice after I finished my meal. Pinanood ko ang dalawang kasama ko na panay pa rin ang reklamo sa akin. During times like this, I couldn't help but feel touched because of the affection I'm getting from these people. Dahil nga madalas akong home-schooled, hindi ako nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na makipagkilala at magkaroon ng mga kaibigan. Although I've experienced attending regular schools, I guess I was too young to socialize since I'm naturally shy and distant.

"What if bumisita na lang kami sa apartment niyo? You know, para ma-meet na rin namin ang parents mo. At para makita nila na may ganito ka kagandang kaibigan!" Sunhee said with signs of excitement.

My smile slowly faded after that and I was unable to respond right away. I suddenly realized that I've never told much about myself to any of them. I think I've mentioned that I just moved to a new apartment before I enrolled here. Pero hindi ko siguro iyon nalinaw sa kanila nang maayos kaya hindi nila alam na mag-isa lang akong nakatira doon ngayon.

"Unfortunately, it would be hard to meet my parents." Mahina kong sinabi, hindi alam kung sapat ba iyon na dahilan.

"Bakit? Anak ka ba ng mafia boss?" Natatawang tanong ni Hana.

"Well.. uh... broken family kasi kami, eh." Nag-aalangan kong sagot at tipid na ngumiti.

I noticed how they went from being excited to being worried and concerned. Nagkatinginan pa sila doon, hindi malaman ang gagawin.

"Sorry, Yerim. We have no idea." Hana pouted as she went closer to me to lean her head on my shoulder.

"No, it's fine! And to make things clear.. I live alone." I said, whispering the last words. I can see how their jaw dropped and shock is all over their faces. "So if you want to visit my house, it's just going to be us." I added as I smiled even wider.

It feels nice that I've come to a point where I can share my life to others without feeling bad and uncomfortable. Sunhee and Hana are both nice to me and they make me feel welcomed since day one. Hindi nila ako pinabayaan kahit na aminado akong ignorante pa rin ako sa mga bagay na ngayon ko pa lang nararanasan. They also shared too much about themselves despite knowing me for just a short period of time. And I think now, it's time for me to do the same. It's time for me to open up myself little by little.

"Hmm.. can we make a visit this weekend? I just want to know how does it feel living with yourself.." Hana said in a calming tone.

"Yeah... it must be tough." Sunhee then reached for my hands and squeezed it a bit.

"Honestly, it wasn't that hard. Hindi lang ako sanay noong umpisa, siyempre. But to sum it up, I like being alone so I'm enjoying it so far." Paliwanag ko sa kanila.

"Thank you, Yerim. Thank you for telling us about yourself. No pressure, ha? Kung kailan mo gusto at kung kailan ka komportable, makikinig kami." They said after a moment of silence.

I think that was the sweetest thing I've heard in a long while. Parang hindi pa ako makapaniwala doon. It's really heart-warming to meet someone who's genuinely concerned of what you feel. Little moments like this are the reason why I choose to enjoy my life despite having to go through my silent battles everyday. I guess, I gained another purpose today.

"May work ka pa rin ba kahit weekends? Baka makaabala naman kami sa'yo, ha?" Sunhee asked while we're heading back to our classroom. Malapit na rin kasing mag-time.

"Yes, I have. Pero gabi pa 'yon, same lang din sa schedule ko kapag weekdays. And my offs naman are during Sundays." I told them.

"Oh, that's nice! We can watch movies, cook, and of course, hindi mawawala.. chismis!" Tawang-tawa si Sunhee sa sariling sinabi.

"I'm so excited!" Hana almost shouted.

We're in the middle of having fun when I saw one of our club leaders standing in front of our classroom's door. Without hesitations, I immediately walked faster so I can approach him because for sure, he needs something from me. Nang makalapit ako nang husto ay tsaka ko pa lang napagtanto na may kausap na pala siya at si Jay iyon. Well, oo nga pala. Hindi lang ako ang parte ng club na iyon sa klase namin.

"Hi, Yerim. Nandito ka na pala. Nabigay ko na kay Jay 'yong task niyo. You guys know what to do, right? Kagaya lang rin last time." Bungad niya sa akin.

"Ah, yes po. Thank you." Sagot ko, medyo hinihingal pa.

"Sige, una na ako. Makipag-coordinate na lang kayo sa amin in case you have questions, okay?" Huli niyang sinabi bago siya tuluyang umalis.

Papasok na rin sana ako sa loob nang magsalita si Jay.

"This is our first task, right?" He asked. I nodded slowly, a bit confused. "Ano 'yong last time na sinasabi niya?" Dugtong niya pa doon.

Suddenly, it hit me. Hindi ko nga pala nabanggit sa kanya na ginawa ko 'yong unang task namin nang hindi ko ipinapaalam sa kanya. However, it's still our work since I also put his name on the credits. So I guess, it's not a big deal, right?

"Ah, 'yon ba? Okay na 'yon, tapos na 'yon. We already talked about it, right?" Pagklaro ko habang sinusubukang maging kalmado.

"Hindi pa. Wala kang sinasabi sa akin." His tone is cold and lazy that I couldn't help but feel intimidated.

"Okay, sorry. I did it on my own and I didn't bother to tell you. Baka kasi busy ka, eh." Dahilan ko. Hindi na siya sumagot at nagsimula na lang maglakad papasok sa classroom dala ang hard copy ng bagong task namin. "I'm giving you the right to divide our task this time. Which one is going to be mine?" I then asked. Nakaupo na siya sa desk niya nang sinundan ko siya.

"Leave this to me. Ako naman ang gagawa. Next time, inform me about your decisions. H'wag kang nagde-desisyon nang ikaw lang. We're partners here, remember?" He said without looking at me.