Collide / [Park Jay]

73

I tried so hard not to cry in front of my friends after I got the message from Miss Cha that my mom had no plans on showing up for me for the family day. Sobrang excited talaga ako doon kasi isa 'yon sa pangarap ko talagang maranasan. I want my parents to be involved with my school's activities even though I'm living independently. Gusto ko ring maipakilala sana ang mga kaibigan ko sa kanila para malaman nila na mabuti naman ang kalagayan ko sa naging desisyon ko. I want them to see that I'm doing fine with this kind of set-up but of course, I still need their guidance and presence at times. Iyon nga lang ay parang ang hirap pa rin noong makuha kahit na hindi naman ako madalas magsabi na kailangan ko sila.

It was so heart-breaking but I guess, I ran out of tears to shed. Palagi naman kasing ganoon ang nangyayari. Umaasa ako tapos sa huli ay mabibigo. I think I just mastered the art of having some time alone to give myself some comfort and gather my thoughts so I won't be too affected.

However, lately, I noticed that I'm slowly finding comfort in someone else's presence. I know that it's not something I should depend on but there are times where I couldn't handle what my mind is telling me to do.

That's why here I am, patiently waiting for him in the bus stop even though he just told me he's coming to meet me a few minutes ago. I don't know what kind of behavior I'm trying to portray now but I'm certain that this is what I need at the moment.

"You could've just waited for my text that I'm already here before coming down. Kanina ka pa? You don't feel cold or something?" Jay said as he went to me. His hair is a bit messy but it suits him perfectly, well, I didn't know why I even paid attention to it.

"Kadarating ko lang.." I lied as I smile a little.

Nagtagal ang tingin niya sa akin na tila binabasang mabuti ang reaksyon ko. I suddenly become conscious of how I look. Since wala naman akong inaasahan na pupuntahan ngayong gabi at wala rin akong shift sa store, maaga akong nakapaghanda para sa pagtulog ko. I was already on my usual pair of sleepwear when Jay told me that he's coming. Hindi ko na nagawang makapagpalit pa dahil ang nasa isip ko lang ay pupunta siya at gusto kong hintayin ang pagdating niya. I just realized eventually how lame I look now that he's in front of me.

"Are you feeling better now?" He asked after a while. Nakasuot siya ng kulay gray na hoodie at itim na sweatpants. And if we're about to compare us to each other, I'm certain that I look like a chaperone or what.

"Oo naman.." Tugon ko. Well, totoong humupa naman na ang emosyon ko at kalmado na ako sa ngayon. Iyon nga lang, siyempre, hindi bebenta ang sinabi ko sa kaharap ko na ngayon ay pasimpleng kumukunot ang noo.

"I told you. You can be honest with me, girl-who-can-hide-her-feelings-through-her-words-but-not-through-her-eyes." Komento pa niya na tila binigyan pa ako ng alyas sa mga huling litanya. Agad naman akong natawa doon.

"You're already here so I feel a lot better. Okay na? Maniniwala ka na?" I said, almost half-meant.

Parang nabigla siya doon at hindi agad nakapagsalita. Even in furrowed eyebrows, I can see a small smile trying to escape his face. Mayamaya ay hindi na rin naman niya iyon napigilan.

"Is that a Yerim rizz?" Mapaglaro niyang sinabi. I just stared at him because I didn't know what was the meaning of it. "Well, shall we go somewhere and grab something to eat? You're probably hungry." Mayamaya ay dugtong niya.

"Busog pa ako doon sa pina-deliver mo kasi nagtabi pa ako. Also, hindi naman ako pwedeng umalis kasi look at me naman. Mukhang kakagising ko lang." Pabiro kong sinabi, which is true in some ways.

"Kahapon pa 'yon, eh." Komento niya.

"Ang dami kaya no'n. You probably forgot that I'm living alone and no one except me would eat that bunch of foods!" Sabi ko pa habang natatawa.