Collide / [Park Jay]

40

My phone was turned off during my working hours and I just opened it when I was preparing to leave. Nang mabuksan ko iyon ay sunod-sunod ang nabasa kong mensahe galing sa iisang tao lang. Noong una, medyo nag-aalangan pa ako kung magre-reply pa ba ako o hindi. I mean, I have nothing to tell him because I already choose to ignore what happened earlier. At tiyak ko naman na tungkol doon ang gusto niyang pag-usapan. I just don't know what's gotten into him and he wants to talk about it in person.

Nang sinabi niyang nasa bus stop na siya ay naghanda na ako. I tiptoed a bit, trying to look for him in the sea of people. Sabay-sabay ang mga bumaba kaya nahirapan ako doon. I was about to go closer so I can see it clearly when someone grabbed my tote bag from behind. I immediately gasped but when I realize who it was, I just let out a deep breath.

"Where are you going?" Jay asked.

Before I could say anything, I think I spent a whole minute by just looking at him. He's wearing a plain white shirt and black tattered jeans. But what I notice the most is the guitar hanging on his shoulder.

"Uh.. I was about to look for you." Simple kong sagot. "Saan ka galing?" Hindi ko alam kung bakit bigla ko na lang nasabi iyon.

Tiningnan niya muna ako na parang binabasa ang reaksyon ko bago siya nagsalita. "Gig lang." He said.

Nagsimula na kaming maglakad papunta sa park gaya nang napag-usapan namin. I couldn't help but look at his guitar everytime I had the chance. Gusto ko pa sanang magtanong tungkol doon pero nahihiya naman ako dahil hindi naman yata 'yon ang pinunta niya rito.

"Bakit maaga ang out mo?" He asked as we sat on a bench.

"School works." Tipid kong sagot.

I was a bit occupied because of how relaxing this place is. Sobrang peaceful to the point na parang nakakaramdam na ako ng antok. Matagal ko nang gustong subukang magpunta dito kaya lang ay wala akong oras. But I think I have a reason to go here from now.

"And club works?" Dugtong niya.

"Malapit na ang exam week kaya sabi ni Jiro, postponed muna 'yong mga ginagawa." Paglilinaw ko.

The park is too quiet that I can even hear his deep sigh clearly. "Lagi kayong magkasama, ah." He uttered.

"For the club, siyempre." Sabi ko at sinulyapan ulit ang gitara niya na nasa pagitan naming dalawa. I'm really trying my best not to ask him about it.

"I still wonder why he's not inviting me to help with our club works." Iritado niyang sinabi.

"Baka ayaw ka lang maabala." I said, pretty unsure of it.

"Baka ayaw niya akong makaabala." He answered firmly.

I didn't get what he said so I just remained silent. Sinundan ko na lang ng tingin ang ilang dumadaan sa harapan namin na para bang interesado talaga ako doon.

"Anyway, I'd like to say sorry about what happened earlier.." Mayamaya ay sinabi niya. Kahit alam ko na naman simula pa kanina na 'yon talaga ang gusto niyang pag-usapan, parang nabigla pa rin ako nang marinig iyon. I guess, there's just something about how he says it.

"Nothing to be sorry about. Okay lang 'yon, Jay. Wala 'yon sa akin." I tried to smile comfortably even though my thoughts are roaming around somewhere.

"Well, I'm not okay with that." He said while looking at me. I swear, I never seen him this serious.

"Sorry.." Bigla kong nasabi sa 'di malamang dahilan.

Jay's brows furrowed a bit. Hindi siya sumagot agad doon at tiningnan lang ako. Did I say something wrong? Is he mad?

"You're supposed to say sorry when you're at fault, Yerim." After a long while, he said.

"But I'm just saying sorry because I think I always get in the line between... the two of you." Nag-aalangan kong sinabi. Halata sa reaksyon niya na hindi niya inasahang marinig iyon.

He straightened up a bit before facing me like he's about to give his whole attention to whatever I'm going to say. The bench is not too big for the both of us so I'm quite conscious of how close we are now. Ang gitara lang niya ang tanging pagitan namin ngayon.

"Does it bother you?" Tanong niya.

"K-Kind of. I mean, I just feel bad that I couldn't do anything to help everytime you guys are having... quarrels?" I said, a bit hesitant because he looks so attentive now and I'm trying not to make a mistake.

"What do you mean quarrels?" He asked again.

"Like.. misunderstandings?" Sagot ko doon, dahilan para kumunot na naman ang noo niya.

"Is there something you're curious about?" Tanong pa niya. Umiling lang ako doon dahil wala rin naman akong maisip at the moment. "In case there is, always tell me.. okay?" Malumanay niyang sinabi.

Sabay na lang kaming napasandal sa kinauupuan namin pagkatapos noon. We just stared at the dark sky for a couple of minutes, not knowing what to do next.

Mayamaya ay naalala ko na kailangan ko na ring umuwi dahil marami pa akong gagawin. Tingin ko'y maging si Jay ay ganoon din, idagdag pa na magbibiyahe pa ulit siya pauwi. Even though I still don't want to leave this place, I think I have to for now.

"I think we should go. Gagabihin ka pa lalo.." I told him. Hindi agad siya sumagot kaya nilingon ko siya na ngayon ay nakapikit lang doon. I wonder if he's sleeping. "Jay.." Pagtawag ko ulit.

"Hmm.." Tugon niya, hindi pa rin naimumulat ang mga mata.

If he had some schedule today, then he's probably tired. Tapos dumiretso pa siya dito dahil lang may gusto siyang linawin. I suddenly feel bad about it but of course, I won't let him know. Paniguradong pagsasabihan niya agad ako kung sakali.

"Inaantok ka na. We should go." Sabi ko ulit at tumayo na. That's when he opened his eyes and looked at me, not saying anything. "Magbi-biyahe ka pa, 'di ba?" Paalala ko dahil mukhang tamad na tamad siya sa ayos niya ngayon.

"Baka sa hideout na lang ako." Sagot niya. It took me a moment to realize what he said. Hideout? Is that what they call that place?

"Mag-isa ka na naman do'n." Komento ko nang nagsimula na kaming maglakad pabalik.

"Do you want me to go home, then?" He asked like his decision relies on my answer.

"Uh.. kung puwede. Kasi wala kang kasama sa... hideout?" Paisa-isa kong sagot. I saw him smiled a little for whatever reason. "Why?" Hindi ko napigilang itanong.

"Sige, uuwi ako." He said with finality.

We immediately reached our building in just a couple of steps. Tama lang ang dating ko dahil maaga pa ako sa curfew. Sa tingin ko'y parang katulad lang din ng usual out ko sa store.

"Ingat ka." Paalam ko kay Jay na ngayon ay pinapasadahan ng tingin ang kabuuan ng building namin.

"Ite-text ba kita kapag nakauwi na ako?" He suddenly asked. Inayos niya ang pagkakasukbit ng gitara niya sa balikat habang naghihintay sa sasabihin ko.

"I don't know. Ikaw, kung gusto mo.." Alanganin kong sagot. I mean, why would he ask that?

"Siyempre, gusto ko." He said before telling me to go inside.

Dahan-dahan na lang akong tumango doon at naglakad na papasok. Hanggang sa makarating ako sa apartment ay parang paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang sinabi niya sa 'di malamang dahilan.