Poetry

Giving Up and Saying No

One of the things adults teach you and warn you about is peer pressure and having the ability to say no

What they don't realize is that this skill is applicable in many different circumstances.
Not just the bad things like drugs and alcohol
but also the good things
like friends and healthily relationships
Growing up these situations become more relevant and dangerous
And often lead to giving up.
Maturity-I've learned- is realizing that everything is optional.
Between doing your homework and getting up in the morning everything is a choice and I have become very good at saying no.
I quit
I give up
I can't do this anymore
I don't want to do this
so I don't.
I Put the pencil down
And the papers away
And go back to bed
Because I've just mastered a new skill called procrastination
The only place this will get me is where I already am.
The easiest option is saying no
It's also the one that hurts the most because I used to say yes
I used to have passion to go places
Now I just stay in
It hurts because I need these actions and accomplishments 
But I am so afraid of failure that when I quit I cry
I still care about fulfilling each task and making progress but I barely made my bed
I wish I didn't care
So that it wouldn't hurt when I failed
But I've learned to accept my failures and claim my fault for them
It's easier to be angry at myself than it is to be in pain
and so full of regret that my tears spill out again
This despair pulls me down
And while I'm on the ground
I forget that getting up was even an option
everything is optional
But I'm too good at saying no to care.