THAT HOLE IN HER HEART | KURAPIKA ❀

v. need to be better

FIVE

The noise dies down after a couple minutes.

"Damn, I miss Kurapika." Gon sighs, rubbing his face. Killua glances at his wrist to tell the time.

"Gon, we should probably get going. There's an exam we have to take tomorrow. Thanks for inviting us over, (Name). Happy birthday, Rowan."

Gon and Killua each gave Rowan a hug before leaving. And now it was only me, Rowan and Leorio.

"Hey, I can help you get this present set up." Leorio said, walking over to Rowan. I glanced over, noticing she was having trouble putting her gift together.

"Thanks, Leorio." She said, handing the gift and watching carefully as he placed all the pieces together. I sat quietly in the corner, my attention turning from them to my finger in my lap. The room was so quiet for some reason. Just a moment ago, there were so many people in here laughing.

My mind trailed back to when I would come in here to rest and Kurapika was sit down beside me, letting me lean on his shoulder so I could relax. His hands would rest on my shoulders and he'd rub small circles with his thumb. Rowan would walk in the room and joke about how 'gross' it was for us to touch. That Kurapika was spreading some kind of 'cootie'.

"Can you believe that (Name)?" Kurapika laughed.

I smile back.

"(Name)?"

I looked up, Rowan standing in front of me. "Hey, can you help me plug this in?"

I nodded and followed her back to the room, watching as she finally found a spot to place her gift. She needed more space to plug it in.

"There's an outlet cord in the closet, I can go get that." I announced, leaving the room. Leorio stepped past me, examining Rowan's way of decorating. The closet was just outside of her room, so it wasn't that far of a walk.

There were plenty of cords, so I just picked up one and took it back to her room. Her and Leorio were joking and laughing about something as I fixed all of her plugs.

The gift immediately turned on as Leorio and Rowan quit talking to admire the gift.

"Yep. I knew I got you a good one!" Leorio laughs, placing his arm around Rowan's shoulder. I stepped back, watching the gift. I squinted my eyes as I found a red gemstone on the present. It looked a lot like the one that was on Kurapika's earring. It even matched his eyes. I stepped back a bit, turning my attention away from the gift. Rowan glanced up at me before shrugging it off. After the gift had served its function, Rowan turned it off and turned towards Leorio.

"You know, this gift is actually very special for you, Rowan." Leorio started.

"How so?"

"There's a special gem that was owned by the Kurta clan, your father's family. Have you noticed that your father wore an earring?" Rowan nodded slowly. "Your father took some of the gem to make it. I found that gem and I brought it in to get this made. So this is a gift you need to take care of. This one is special."

A large grin stretched across Rowan's face as she looked back to the gift. When she turned back around, her eyes were glowing that same red as the gem on her present.

Leorio turned around to leave the room, leaving only me and Rowan to gaze at her present. "I had no idea about this gem mom. How do you think Leorio knew?"

"Your father probably told him about it." I stared into the gem, it's color bringing back my memories of Kurapika. When he proposed, his eyes had turned the darkest I had ever seen them. In that moment, he was filled with so many emotions. Fear, love, hope.

"So why'd dad steal from the gem? Just to make an earring?" My gaze turns from the gift over to Rowan.

"What?" My response came out harsher than I wanted it to.

"Why'd he steal from it if it's some precious clan gem?"

"He didn't steal anything! It belonged to him because he was a part of that clan!"

"Okay, but he just took it-"

My body was moving before I could even think. How could she ever imply that her father was a thief? My hand slapped across her face and I pointed back to the gem. "He didn't steal anything! His clan was gone and he was the last left. He had a right to take it! It belonged only to him!"

"Hey!" Leorio shouts, stepping back into the room. He looked over to Rowan who had one hand covering the side of her face that I had hit.

Her eyes turned another deep color of scarlet, and I felt my breath hitch in my throat. "I'm sorry." I mutter, bringing my hands to cup her face.

You stupid piece of shit. Who goes around hitting their daughters? You're a shitty smelling pile of garbage. What right did you have to lay a hand on her? She lost her father when she was eight how could she have known?

Leorio gripped onto my arm tightly, pulling me out of the room. My eyes had a burning sensation once the tears started to fill them. I placed my hand over my mouth as Leorio threw me into another room. He stepped in before me and shut the door.

"What the fuck was that!"

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry!" I cried, keeping my head down. I didn't want to meet his gaze. Just from the energy in the room, I could tell he was disappointed in me. I failed again as a mother.

"How many times have you hit her?" His voice was demanding. I'd never heard him talk like this and it scared me.

"I didn't mean to!"

"Yeah, yeah!" He let out a long sigh. "You can't do that, (Name). That was a really bad thing you did back there." He's scolding me like I'm some toddler.

"I know, Leorio." I cry.

"Then why the fuck did you do that? That was messed up!"

"I can't help it. It always goes like that!"

"What! You just don't have control over yourself or something?"

I nod slowly. He laughs in response. I knew it was stupid for me to answer like that. "So this has happened before?" I nod again.

"Holy shit!" He mumbles, turning around to try and calm himself down.

"I'm trying to be better, Leorio!" I cry. "Kurapikas gone and now everything is harder but I'm trying so hard."

"No, (Name), stop!" Leorio sighs. "It's not because Kurapika is gone, it's just because of you. You are the one who hit your child. Do you understand that? This was something that you did."

We stood in silence as I occasionally let out a sniffle.

"I'm calling a therapist." Leorio announces, pressing some buttons on his phone. "This cannot continue. You need to be better, (Name)."

(all gifts are meant to be interpreted by the reader)

WORD COUNT : 1189 words . . .