Looking through my closet, I found nothing.
What I needed was a dress to homecoming, the problem was I didn't have one even close to being nice enough for a school dance.
My senior year homecoming.
My first homecoming.
It had to be worth it.
There was only one person I knew could help me with this.
"Mom!"
I yelled through the house. Almost immediately she appeared in my doorway, like she was waiting to be called.
"Yes dear?"
I cringed at her over-polite voice. The one she had been using for the past 5 years. The one that she thought would heal the pain and betrayal in our hearts of her pushing my dad away.
Or maybe just in my heart.
Glancing over at her, I saw a look of pure curiosity gracing her features.
"I.. Sorta got invited to homecoming.."
Her hand flew to her mouth.
"My baby, invited to homecoming? Oh my goodness, we need to get you a dress!"
I felt my cheeks heat up, the reason behind it, I would never know.
The way she was trying so hard, always trying to make it up to me.
I felt an ounce of guilt floating in my stomach.
But we both knew the only way to make this up to me would be to bring dad back.
And that would never happen.
She seemed to notice that my thoughts were elsewhere, because she continued the subject, seeing that I wasn't going to answer.
"What color are we thinking? I think a dark blue or a dark red would look nice with your skin color."
I nodded,
"Dark red sounds nice."
She smiled enthusiastically, like she had just unlocked a treasure chest she had been dying to open. I wanted to smile back, I wanted to forgive her. But she was the reason my dad wanted to leave, she was the reason my dad couldn't come back.
Part of me felt that blaming her wasn't right. But for all that I blamed on myself, this was one thing that was easier to blame on others.
I knew that I could have saved my relationship with my dad if I hadn't told him to never come back.
Me.
I pushed him away.
But I couldn't let it be my fault. Not with everything else. It had to be my mom. My mom and her negative attitude, her rude remarks, and lack of sympathy.
But she had changed. It was as if she had realized her mistakes and was now trying to mend the holes she had made.
She was nice. She was caring.
And if anything annoyed me more, it'd be a miracle.
If only she had been this way from the start, maybe dad would have stuck around.
He would have stayed.
And that, that, was her fault.
My eyes gazed into hers, and our feelings couldn't be more different.
Her eye held a sense of hope and excitement, like a child in Christmas. Yet, reflected in the youth of her eyes was my discontentment, anxiety, and fear.
"Shall we go today? We can grab some lunch..?"
She offered and I nodded, sending her a look I hoped she could read.
'Don't mess this up'
Smiling brightly she almost jumped for joy,
"I'll just go grab my purse."
I nodded again, still at a loss for words.
Part of me wanted to forgive her, but that meant forgiving myself, and I didn't have the strength for that.
Not yet.
---------------------
The store was one I had never been in, but one that had been well loved.
The color on the walls was fading and the tile floor hadn't been mopped in a while, but the content of the store, took away from cosmetic details.
The store was full of dresses.
Dressed of every color, every size, and of every kind.
Wedding dresses, birthday dresses, cocktail dresses, business dresses; it was basically a dress warehouse.
My mom instantly swam into the sea of cloth and fabric, picking out dark shades of red and blue that she thought would suit my skin tone nicely. She took over, and I let her, I wasn't much of a shopper anyway.
"Try these on sweetie."
She handed me an armful of dresses and I almost fell over with their weight. But my heart felt heavier.
Sweetie.
The term of endearment triggered a waterfall in my heart and I threw myself in the dressing room before he tears could spill.
My dad called me sweetie.
No one had called me that since he left.
I cleared my throat, refusing to cry, and pulled on the first dress in the pile.
What felt like 100 hopeless dresses later, I finally pulled on a maroon dress that fit me perfectly. As I turned and looked in the mirror I felt a smile grow on my face, the dress was beautiful. I walked out of the dressing room and twirled around my mom,
"Oh Dani, it's gorgeous. You're gorgeous."
I felt a blush in my cheeks, but looked away,
"Thank you."
She nodded absent-minded,
"Well get changed back into your regular clothes and hand me that dress, it's definitely the one."
I half smiled,
"Thanks.. Mom, really.. thank you."
Her eyes glowed with happiness as she smiled from ear to ear,
"Anything for you, anything."
Quickly, I returned to the small dressing room and changed my clothes. Checking my phone I saw a few messages, all from Riley.
As I exited the room, handing the dress to my mom with a small smile, I opened the messages from Riley.
'Good morning :)'
'Want to come over later?'
I smiled slightly at the phone, typing in my response.
'Sure, what time?'
He texted back almost instantly,
'As soon as possible!'
Looking up at my mom, she was ushering me towards the door,
"Hey mom, want to meet Riley?"
She nodded enthusiastically, and I smiled, sending a message to Riley,
"Be there soon."
YOU ARE READING
On Purpose
Romance"I didn't mean to do it," he cried, releasing another waterfall of tears. His lungs burned from the smoke surrounding him. His face was wiped of emotion but his eyes held tears, fear and regret. There were no words to be said, only silent words to...
