𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 | 𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨

Chapter 12 | Precious

The sky was a lovely orange colour. The gentle breeze and the occasional falling leaves made the moment even more special, memorable. But memorable was not always a good thing, especially when the thing you wished for the most, was to forget; to forget about all the pain that filled your heart, all the tears that were on the edge of streaming down your cheeks, all the emotions that were overfilling out of you, even if it were only for a brief moment.

***

All the Hashira had gathered at Rengoku's grave. It was a remarkably notable evening, nobody spoke, only whispered quietly or sobbed once in a while.

Rengoku had a beautiful soul, every Hashira was well aware of that. 

"Rest in peace, you died such an honourable death Rengoku, everyone is so proud of you," Mitsuri sobbed, collapsing onto her knees that had given up from all the shaking.

"Rest in peace," Tengen added on quietly. Unlike his usual, loud, flamboyant speech, Tengen did not speak much, he only stared down at Rengoku's grave with a pitiful expression.

Tomioka did not speak much either, he was in a state of shock, his body reacted slowly and his legs felt numb. He didn't want to believe Rengoku was gone.

Yet again, another strong fighter, losing their life to a demon.

No one thought anything, no one said anything, no one did anything. They physically had no more room left to process anything else, they had been drained from the sudden news.

Tomioka looked around, all he saw were tired, sad faces, staring at the dirt floor.

"Where is Kocho?" He asked, whispering it under his breath, not having any strength to speak any louder.

A few minutes walk away from Rengoku's grave, Shinobu sat under the Sakura tree, on the very hill that both Tomioka and Kanae had taken her to.

The carefree breeze ruffled her hair softly and she leaned on the tree, emotionless, not being able to think straight.

The feeling of loathing took over and she fell to her knees. It was that feeling again, the one that always followed the passing of a loved one. Shinobu was far too aware of what it felt like, she had gone through it too many times.

Her teeth clenched together, all the muscles in her body tensed up and she could already feel the hot tears coming. One of her arms wrapped around her torso as she looked up at the sky, the stinging pain in her waist was back and even worse when mixed with the pain of losing a friend.

I'm sorry, Rengoku.

A tear fell down her cheek, followed by another, then another.

"Shinobu."

It was Tomioka, she could tell by his voice.

She quickly turned her head and rubbed tears off her face with one wipe, hoping that Tomioka had not noticed her crying earlier.

"Oh! I'm sorry, were you looking for me?" She replied with a deep breath, before forcing a kind smile on her face.

Tomioka took one look at her fatigued face and slowly walked over to sit next to her.

He too stared up at the sky and exhaled tiredly, "I thought I would find you here."

She glanced over at Tomioka, his dark hair reflecting the setting sunlight. 

"Are you alright? You seem really worn out" he asked her, noticing her tired smile getting weaker.

After hearing those exact words, Shinobu's smile turned into an open-mouthed, sad expression. Those were the last words she wanted to hear, she didn't want anyone to point out her sadness, she even tried ignoring them herself, because she knew she wouldn't be able to hold back the tears if she accepted her emotions.

And before she could help it, tears did start rolling down her cheeks uncontrollably.

"I'm alri-" she replied hesitantly before cutting herself off at the feeling of warm tears on her face.

She took another deep breath.

"No." she corrected herself.

"No, I'm not alright. No one is going to be alright tonight because of those insensitive, heartless monsters!"

Her tone was firm and her breathing was unsteady. Tomioka was stunned by her change of mood. 

He grabbed her hand.

Shinobu sat open mouthed, glaring tiredly at Tomioka's soft hand on top of hers. For a very quick moment, her tears stopped and she dropped her heavy breathing.

She couldn't help it, all her emotions got a hold of her and she wrapped her two arms around Tomioka's body, her face buried into his chest and her hot tears soaked into his uniform. 

She hugged him tight, her arms refusing to let go for almost 10 minutes whilst she sobbed.

Tomioka gazed at her crying body in awe, she was so vulnerable, she had given up everything at that moment and all she wanted to do was cry. She had dropped her whole 'smiley' act and she didn't care anymore what Tomioka saw her as.

"R-R-Rengoku," she whispered, mixed with her crying, "he's gone."

Tomioka himself looked drained. His facial expression was even more dull than usual, almost as though he was about to start crying.

Normally, this wasn't the type of thing Tomioka cried about, he had gone through the loss of so many close ones that he had begun to just mourn alone, ignore his emotions, block out any feelings.

Maybe it was just her crying that made him want to cry, Tomioka thought to himself but immediately shut that thought away. It was impossible.

He wrapped his arms around Shinobu, although he didn't want to it admit to himself, he hated seeing her in such a weak state, he never wanted to see her cry, he didn't want her to be unhappy. 

She looked up from Tomioka's chest, tears still filling up her lavender eyes. She stared at his face, his sorrowful face, at her eyes met his.

Her eyes were full of sadness, of mournfulness, of grief, and most visibly, of guilt. 

"I'm sorry," she muttered, "I'm so sorry."

Wiping her tears off once again, she pulled herself away from the arms of Tomioka.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she said turning her face around to avoid embarrassment.

Tomioka didn't mind her sudden hug though, he actually found it comforting. 

After a moment of silence, he stood up and dusted the grass off himself.

"Are you heading off somewhere?" Shinobu questioned, drying away the least of her tears. She hated crying in front of people and she wanted to forget about it as soon as possible; she felt as though crying was a sign of desperation, one that begged for sympathy, the last choice, and she never wanted to burden anyone with it.

"I'm taking you back to the butterfly estate, you need to rest," he answered, in his usual, melancholy tone.

"I don't want to see anyone right now though."

"You don't have to," he said, before picking her up on his back and carrying her back to the butterfly mansion.

She wanted to object to his unexpected movements, she wanted to tell him to put her down and let her walk but she couldn't find the energy to do so. 

So she just sat quietly on Tomioka's back, letting him carry her back to her house.