𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 | 𝐆𝐢𝐲𝐮𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐨

Chapter 24 | Love, Giyu

Her lips had lost all feeling as the cold rain poured down her face. She watched quietly as the man she had just hurt walked away. There was no excuse for what she did but at the time, it seemed as though there was no other choice. She wanted to keep him safe, even if she died, she still wanted him to try his best in battle and save his life along with the lives of many of their comrades.

She took a deep breath and somehow managed to move herself to her room.

The next few hours went by in a blur, overthinking it was no use, but not thinking about it at all was making her head spin.

Shinobu sat with her arms around her knees, huddled up next to her bed and locked in her room. Her wet hair stuck to her face and her cold, wet clothes sent a shiver up her body.

She sat there until her lamp burnt out, and then fell asleep not too long later.

***

The next morning, the mansion was unusually silent, the absence of noise was most likely from the fact that everyone had left for the fight. A certain butterfly girl sat in her room, watching as the sun beamed through the curtains. To be completely honest, even Shinobu wasn't sure if she would've woken up if it wasn't for the sounds of the birds from the garden. Her whole body was still bedridden and numb from the rain, and she was incredibly tired.

Look at me, useless as ever, this is no use. I'm here in bed whilst everyone is trying their best to seek out Muzan Kibutsuji.

She sighed, before lifting herself from the covers and finding herself a clean and dry uniform.

Walking down the stairs, she felt even more uneasy. Usually, Shinobu loved her privacy, but now, all she wanted was to hear the voice of someone familiar.

Downstairs looked the same, just without Aoi in the kitchen, Kanao in the garden, or Giyu waiting by the door ready to take her for a walk. Every surface in sight was spotless, not a single misplaced object or broken item. All except for the kitchen table near the tap.

On the table, lay a perfectly folded letter with a golden stamp.

Shinobu walked over to it and picked it up, examining the letter. On the back, there were two perfectly carved names ingrained and a small note.

To Shinobu Kocho, from Giyu Tomioka.

Upon spotting the second name on the envelope, her heart sunk and she hesitated to open it. She hadn't realised how much she missed him. 

There was nothing to lose, she gently peeled off the stamp and inside the envelope, was a letter written in handwriting she knew too well.

Her curiosity got the best of her and she started to read the letter.

To my beloved Shinobu Kocho,

I am assuming you are reading this letter the morning we leave. I left this letter in the hands of Kanao for you, I hope that it reaches you. I'm writing this letter as an apology note, for never really understanding you as well as I thought I did. 

I really thought that I knew you from top to bottom, but I was mistaken. I had never expected this was how it would end, I knew we would have to defeat Kibutsuji at some point but I never expected it to turn out like this, at least, I thought we would be together until the end. But sometimes, it doesn't always turn out as we want it to, and that's alright. I'm sorry I couldn't support you, I'm sorry I wasn't there to understand the whole story to help you, I'm sorry I was being selfish. 

But there's one thing I won't apologise for, and that's being with you. I understand you don't feel the same way, and I get it now, it's alright. But when I say that you really made me a person again, I mean it. Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for sharing laughs with me, and thank you for sticking with me even when it seemed like I was a hopeless corpse. Before truly meeting you, I had completely blocked off my emotions, I didn't want to get close to anyone for the fear that I might lose them again. And if I'm not mistaken, I believe it was the same for you too, right?

Thank you for everything you have done for me, and one day, in another life, I hope you find someone who can make you happy, I hope you can find the person you love. And if that day comes, will you come find me again?

My letter to you comes to an end here, I don't know if I will make it out of this fight alive, so I want to tell you one last time, you will always have a special place in my heart. I'm not a big fan of goodbyes, so let's just keep it as see you later for now.

Love, Giyu Tomioka

As she reached the end of the page, multiple teardrops came streaming down her face again, staining the page. Her free hand scrunched up the envelope whilst the other hugged the piece of paper, falling down onto her knees. 

She cried like she had never done before, her knees were shaking and she almost forgot how to breathe.

"No!" She cried, "You didn't do anything wrong, you didn't."

Grabbing a hold of herself again, she steadied herself with the help of a chair.

She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear again, before muttering something out, "I'm sorry Kanae, I can't avenge you right now, I have to see him one more time, I can't leave it like this, I need to tell him it's not his fault, that I lied."

She pushed herself, one hand still clenching onto the envelope before running out of the mansion, then the hashira garden, with any last hope to see him again.