Senju Kiyoshi

|37| Aftermath

Kiyoshi

Even if the casualties were little, the village was in a bad shape. We lost a lot of shinobis. Including our leader, the Hokage.

The sky was clouded over on the day of the funeral. I wore all black. I always liked the color for its sophistication and elegance. Never thought it could represent the deep pit of guilt I felt.

I did not care enough to tie my hair today, I left it down. The ends of it reaching my lower back. Upon hearing the sounds of footsteps next to me I lifted my head to see my team headed my way. All dressed in black.

I was the first one of the genins to arrive here. Just staring at the ground. Maybe this will help with the burning pain of guilt, I thought. It didn't. The old man's face flashed in my mind for a brief moment.

"Make it out alive and tell me the stories of my parents, old man"

"I will."

"Liar."

The people around me, hearing my whisper glanced at me for a moment before looking back at the photo. Sandaime's photo.

It started raining softly. Even the sky cried for him.

After the ceremony, everyone went up one by one to place a white rose in front of his picture.

Someone sightly nudged me and I looked up to see Neji. He didn't say anything, his face was blank with a glimpse of sadness. I stared at him, silently questioning the matter.

"You haven't paid your respects yet." He said and looked in front. I slowly nodded and went ahead. I placed the rose and walked back to where my team stood, somehow managing to not bump into anybody or thing while walking with my head cast downwards.

"I- I'll be. . .going," I said and shunshined myself to the clan compound.

I walked back to my room and plopped myself on the bed. Then, the real torture began.

It's your fault. My voice, a part of me rang out.

No, it's not. How-

You left him there knowing what Orochimaru was capable of.

He was strong too-

But as you said, he was old.

I-

Why did you leave him? Didn't you promise something to your ancestors?

I said I'll protect the village.

So the old man doesn't count in the village anymore?

He does!

You did a shitty job at protecting the village anyway. Destroyed buildings, injured civilians.

But they are-!

Uh-huh, excuses again? Tch, you really are useless. Worthless. A scum who left their comrade behind.

. . .I'm not-

You are. Didn't our oh-so-beloved sensei say your kind is worse than scum? You left him behind. I wonder how Naruto thinks of you now? You let his guardian die.

. . .I didn't mean to.

It's not my fault.

Still in denial?

It's not my fault.

I don't want it to be my fault.

. . .But it is, isn't it?