Sometimes I wish you would just go away forever.
And I don't mean that in vein. I mean it in the sense I'm tired of mourning you over and over again.
Every time you come back in my life I rejoice in your presence.
And then you leave again. And I'm stuck mourning the loss. The loss of love and a friend.
If you were dead I would only have to mourn you once more. And then move on one day.
You being alive keeps my hope alive. But hope for what? The same insane circle.
It's sick.
I feel mentally sick.
You never deserved me. And that's the biggest realization I've had.
When I met you and you were a druggie. I shoulda ran as fast as I could the other way.
But I stayed.
I stayed to fix you.
I tried hard. And ended up hurting you.
But the crazy thing. You didn't want to be fixed.
You could have let me fix you.
But you seeked our other women.
To fix or break you further.
You could get clean for them. Love them. Give yourself to them.
But why not me?
I was enough. I was genuine. I was worth it.
YOU ARE READING
2.5 Years
Non-FictionSomeone has told me that you grieve someone for half the time you've known them or longer. I don't want to grieve that long however this is my progress as to how I'm feeling.
