Maybe

Chapter 25 The Way I Feel

Some people were already intoxicated, others were casually drinking, and a few were engrossed in gossip. I scanned the room, my mind consumed by thoughts of Ethan, searching for any sign of him. Eventually, amidst the crowd, I spotted him surrounded not just by girls, but by fervent fangirls. Casually looking around as if familiarizing myself with the venue - Janice's Friend's Dad's Club, where we had special access - I tried to blend in.

I attempted to stay close to Janice, but she gravitated towards Ralph, who was also present. Jake sat at the bar looking visibly discontented. Taking a seat beside him, I could sense his dissatisfaction. I followed his gaze and noticed he was watching Janice intently.

"Come on, Ralph, do it like that! Haha, no no no, you look funny, but in a different way," Janice teased Ralph with a mischievous grin.

I observed their playful interaction with a smile. "Seems like they're really enjoying themselves," I remarked casually, catching Jake off guard as he turned to face me, momentarily distracted by our sudden conversation.

"Hey, Nina, when did you arrive?" he asked, glancing over at her. "Just now," I replied quietly, subtly nodding towards Janice. He looked at her, then back at me, laughing nervously. "They seem pretty close, don't they?" I simply nodded in agreement, murmuring a noncommittal "Hmm."

The music began, a sultry tune filling the air. Janice swiftly headed to the dance floor with Ralph. Jake couldn't help but watch them dance together, a pang of unease settling in his chest. He hesitated, torn between wanting to interrupt and feeling like an outsider in their closeness.

"You jealous?"

He glanced at me, and before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just go and have fun with her. Isn't she your girlfriend?" At first, he hesitated, but eventually made his way over there. I watched as Janice danced with an uninhibited fervor, her movements embodying the essence of seduction. Jake approached her slowly, his hands finding her waist with a confidence that both impressed and unsettled me. As the music pulsed, his touch became more exploratory, blending seamlessly with the rhythm.

I observed Janice stealing a glance over her shoulder, possibly catching sight of me before immersing herself in the music once more. Jake drew nearer, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered something intimate. Her response was a sly smile, almost teasing. From my vantage point across the dimly lit club, I could read her lips as she provocatively asked, "Why? Are you jealous?"

Then, to my astonishment, I witnessed him nodding affirmatively before drawing her into a passionate kiss.

I watched as they shared a dreamy kiss, their affectionate and flirty interaction reminding me of Ethan. The way they connected made me wonder: if it were us, would he act the same? Would he say those sweet words? Would I pull him closer, like Janice did?

Glancing in Ethan's direction, my heart sank as I saw him surrounded by girls flirting with him. He remained calm, but inside, I felt a pang of jealousy tearing me apart. I wanted to stride over and shoo the girls away. In fact, there wasn't just one girl; there were several vying for his attention. Turning away from the scene, I realized he hadn't come to me as he usually would have.

"Why would he bother? He's always surrounded by his adoring fangirls. If he even acknowledges me, it could tarnish his image," I mused quietly to myself.

Observing a group of girls ordering drinks nearby, memories of my past experimentation surfaced. Despite having tried it once before, a part of me was curious to revisit that experience. Rumor had it that alcohol could make you forget things easily. But tonight, my intention was simple: I just wanted to enjoy myself, regardless of him.

"Give me one," I said decisively, signaling the bartender for a drink.

I sipped my drink slowly, trying not to draw attention to how much I was consuming. Despite some urging me to dance with him, I declined. Little did I realize, Ethan's gaze was fixed on me the entire time, noticing how increasingly intoxicated I was becoming. Unable to watch any longer, he finally approached me.

Just as I was about to take another sip, Ethan swiftly took the drink from my hand and downed it in one go. "Come on, man," I protested.

"Let's get out of here," he said firmly, grabbing my wrist and guiding me out of the club. I walked beside him like a stubborn five-year-old. "Why? Are you finished entertaining yourself with your cringy girls?" I retorted.

"Some guys were eyeing you up," he replied curtly. With determination, he led me home, his grip firm yet gentle.

____

"Did you feel that?" I questioned eagerly. He glanced at my lips, his expression unreadable.

I felt a surge of frustration. His uncertainty was both endearing and irritating, that I wanted...

to kiss him more...

 "Maybe?" he replied, a hint of uncertainty creasing his brow before I leaned in and kissed him passionately. His hand gently cupped my neck, drawing me nearer as our kiss intensified, each moment deepening our connection.

It felt like an eternity, a magical moment I had yearned for days. His lips against mine tonight, finally fulfilling a desire. When I pulled away, he still stared at my lips, hunger evident in his eyes.

 "See? That's what you do to me," he confessed without thinking.

"Do I?" I asked softly.

"Yeah," he replied breathlessly.

I sank onto the couch, feeling overwhelmed. He wanted more of my lips, but I was intoxicated and couldn't oblige. He continued to gaze at me until I spoke, then drifted off to sleep.

Had I achieved what I wanted? Was everything going smoothly, or was there trouble ahead? Could I admit that I loved him and embrace it, or was something worse looming?

Just regular anxiety.

Falling in love isn't supposed to be hard, right?

Or maybe it is...