Your brother my lover

2.

_Harry_

It hasn't be the worst-how do I just dare to have a doubts about Liverpool high?-Gia's opinion really killed me. Spoilt teenagers, how could they be bad, right? How could they be the only evil in the school? Cocky football players, fake barbies, daily bored agressors, children with rich parents. The whole fucking elite in the Liverpool high hierarchy, how could be this ok?-

But why I am thinking about it now? I am out of the most terrifying years in the Liverpool high so what am I thinking about?

Anyways now I will be the teacher, the one who sets the rules.

I had eaten the rest of my favourite chocolate cake and then I just listened the conversation in the room,

"Harry?" asked me my lovely sister. "Hhh?" -what had she figured out for this time? "Why are you so quite?" "Me? Inpossible." I answerd straight-why should I debate about this shits right now and as a bonus with her-.

"Come on big brother, we had missed you a lot and you haven't said much from your arrival."-the ironic is so obvious. "Don't disturbe a genius while he is overthinking, remeber that, Ley."-Since she has birth I call her Ley, because no one hasn't found out this originall way how to pissed her of with just to adressing to her own name-.

"Genius? Since when?"-this had missed me, really, because I hadn't got anyone in NYU that could be so good in arguing about bullshits-.

Georgia had to go home earlier so she left in next two hours after the sarcastic fight with my beloved sister. She didn't speak today as much as I had remeber.

But Ley had made a big hole in my head, ough.

That feeling when I am gonna sleep in my old room this night and then I will just come to my new flat-in the center of London.

I mean I am really glad that I had found an acceptable offer of the room for the rent, here in England, in general. And also It's much better than some room in the NYU building that u have to share with a random guy.

But in all the cases this living will belong to me-if I won't count with the owners.

That moment when I opened the creaky door I was feeling like the loser kid again. I had left everything where it was placed. So nothing changed.

On the walls are still the old posters of famous scientist, many quotes about the mathematic and of course my dearest diary.

I should have burned it before. Times are changing now. I don't need it and I won't need it again.

So probably the first thing that I'll do is to take this shit down stairs and throw it to the flames. What a beautiful evening. Isn't it?

I was sitting on the armchair in the living room when the dairy caught the fire.

It's quite absurd-I am not the coward kid anymore-one of the things that you would do when you will arrive after many years of the seclusion from the family is to burry old yourself  for good.

Actually I am enjoying it, now there are no evidences of my past.

I had been chilling and getting warm untill Ley entered. "What are you doing here? Around midnight? I knew.." she didn't end her sentence because I interrupted her thoughts with: "Ley, just go for your midnight snack and leave me alone."

"Why should I listen to you, hm? Tell me. And don't say that the older ones has got respect, bullshits." "Calm down , do you want to wake up the parents? No, so shut up."

"I won't. Did you really think that it will solve everything if you come back home? If you had just seen poor mum how she was dealing with it badly you wouldn't act like an asshole. Who would be sitting in the midnight in the living room and would be so toxic to own sister? Why have you...?"

"That is enough, I won't listen this, good night." I put out the fire and went quickly to the bedroom.

I took a bottle of Tequila that I had packed to my suitcase when I was leaving NYU. That feelling when I smell to it's lovely taste.

I can't explain how am I feeling now or what do I have to feel but one thing I know for sure: I don't think about anything, I am gonna do nothing and as the biggest fact-I won't let the bottle full.

It had taken me something around 30 minutes to finished the rest of it but I don't feel drunk at all-something is wrong here-.

I wish I could be out of the reality for now. It just didn't come up.

Morning will be the worst I have to do a lot things but I've got wasted and now I can't do anything productive.

My body hasn't been under my control for the few hours. Maybe something had happend finally.

I wanna scream on this fucking world so much but I am too sober for that.

It's 2:00 am and I've decided to go out of my old room to get out of this house.

All of the lamps are lightning like the shining sun when you wake up. I like the dark that had surrounded me. I can be whoever I want.

Anyway there is no one who would judge me or even stop me. I love it.

I was walking around the Georgia's house-they live nearby our street-when the lamps stopped working.

It's a miracle that I know her house like for real-no joking-because I don't care about my sister's friends. Fine we were playing as a little children but that is not important-what could I remeber from the fucking childhood right?-

When my watches had showed 4:23 I turned back to the main road. My alarm clock will do a big noise for a while so I should come back to mute it-maybe-.