falling deep- JJ Maybank

Bye bean

After the beach, me and JJ walked hand in hand back to the house, I don't think I can even call it mine anymore. Walking through the door was never going to be easy, but with JJ by my side it took a little of the pain away. Pope got a vanilla spray and sprayed it around after I made a comment about the constant smell of my mums daisy perfume.

Me and JJ walked into the kitchen still hand in hand, I think mine and his situation was pretty clear. My brother didn't seem to mind, im thankful for that. All the pouge's have been staying with me, and sarah. Her and Kie haven't spoke a word nor looked at eachother, but I think they both quietly agreed to leave it for my sake. That's why I have so much love for both of them.

''Hey Ari, you good?'' Sarah asked softly, she quickly jumped out of her chair and engulfed me in a hug. I loved Sarah's hugs.

''Im getting there,'' I admitted, hugging her back.

I began walking to stand next to John B when a thought popped into my mind, ''Hey kie can you braid my hair today please?'' I said, my voice had been croaky since my mum passed, as if I stuggled to speak.

She looked up from her book, her face filled with joy at the question. She clapped her hands together in a joy a little making me chuckle. '' Of course boo boo,'' Her voice was filled with so much glee my heart melted for her.

It was then I realized my brothers arm was in a cast, my mouth dropped open and a gasp escaped my lips. I had completelty forgotten what Topper did to John B.

''Ari what is it?'' John Bs face filled with concern but only a laugh came from me, which quickly turned into minor tears.

''Omg I forgot you were in like hospital bro, what happened are you like gonna lose your arm,'' My crying wasn't of sadness, funny enough it was of laughter. John b looked confused.

''Im all good Ari you had more important things happening,'' He reassured me,'' But I thought I would warn you that im living with Sarah now,''

My face fell open in shock and I didn't know what to say, ''Um so does that mean I can like the chauteu all too myself,''

''Yes?'' His tone was questioning

''Yes oh thank god that place needs a deep clean,'' Everyone around me began to laugh, the sound was music to my ears. I navigated my way around my brother and grabbed a bowl and poured myself some cereal. I opened the box and that's when I seen it, a note.

''I know your gonna forget so go check the box next to my bed- mom,'' I read aloud and everyone's gaze turned to me.

''What did you say?'' Kie asked.

I rushed out of the kitchen heading up stairs, I ran straight into my mothers room. I jumped on the bed and began looking on her bed side table. I heard footsteps behind me, I looked up to find Sarah stood behind me. She looked a little scared.

''Ari what's going on?''

''My mom before she died she-,'' I found the box and jumped off the bed rushing pas her and down the stairs, ''She told me to get the box of her bedside,'' Everyone was still in the kitchen when me and Sarah joined them.

I put the box down and looked at it, a shaky breath escaped my lips. This was the one thing she begged for me to look at. But looking at it only made me feel sick. Slowly I unclasped it looking at the contents inside. There was a tape recorder, one like my dad used, and a necklace. I picked up the tape recorder my hand shaking violently.

John be gently pried it from my hands and I gave him a small nod. He gulped looking down at it both of us getting flash backs from the night we found the one our dad had made.

''Do you want me to play it?'' He asked

I thought for a moment, ''Yeah,''

And just like that he hit play.

Hi baby its mom speaking well I bet you have already guessed that, your probably listening to this with your brother and your friends and I expect it is after I died. I need you to know that it is Andy its always gonna be Andy who murders me, now I need you to do nothing with the information. I don't want you to try plead to the cops. I want you to end him your own god dam way okay. Make him pay. Make him pay for what he did to you, make him pay for what he did to me. I should have protected you honey, that's something I will never forgive of myself. I need you to know and your brother that im sorry.
I should have done something when I saw the scars that were on your body. I should have made you feel comftorable enough to tell me he did it.

I need you both to know that I always loved your father but the choice of being with him was ripped from my grasp at a young age. John B I would have loved nothing more than to be there for you perhaps even have the privlage of you calling me mom. I ruined that and I will forever be sorry for leaving you and your dad. Truth be told you guys will always be my family.

I don't want you to ruin your life over this okay I need you to be strong. From what I see you got a great group of friends and correct me if im wrong but perhaps a lil boyfriend amongst that. Just know you need to fight this baby okay. I gotta go now, but you need to know I will love you forever and that your not alone I promise your not alone. I got you always.

Bye Bean and bye birdy

You know the feeling when you have been hit so hard all the wind gets knocked from your lungs. Experiencing that without the being hit part makes everything ten times worse. I felt my breathing pick up but I refused to cry. I could hear john B sniffling besides me, he was finding comfort in Sarah at this very moment. I just buried my head in my hands.

I just sat wishing, wishing on a dream. Wishing she would just come back hug me, kiss my cheek. She was meant to hold me when I cried about my first heart break right. She was meant to hold me when I got fired from my first job. She will never see me walk down the isle, or graduate. She wont meet her grandchild.

+++

At some point Sarah headed home, I thanked her for staying. She has been a total life saver these past twenty four hours.

I was lead on the sofa when Kie came in and sat down on the floor infront of my head. I was staring blank into the ceiling not wanting to talk at all.

''Hey Ari,''

''hi boo boo,''

''We are heading out, we got another lead on the gold you don't gotta come but we all think that it would do you good to maybe get out. Maybe it will clear your mind,'' Kie's voice was so calm and suttle it made me settle in her presence.

I turned so we were face to face and let out a breath, ''I think that it will distract me and I really just need something to distract me,'' She nodded her head at me and did that cute little thing where she claps her hands together.

''Want me to braid your hair,'' She smirked and I shot up like a little girl and began nodding my head rapidly. She chuckled and grabbed my hand dragging me upstairs.

''The fist step to making yourself feel good is to make your self look good,'' Kie stated closing my bed room door. I took in a deep breath as I looked at myself in the mirror/ I had huge eye bags and my hair looked like a birds nest. I was still wearing JJs jumper and some shorts. In the nicest way possible I looked a state.

''Fist step girl is to take a shower,''

A/N

SO THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER THAT GOES OFF STORY LINE BUT AS OF NEXT CHAPTER WE ARE MRE ON TRACK.

OVBIOUSLY ARI ISN'T GONNA BE OKAY STRAIGHT AWAY SO SHE NEEDS TIME TO HEAL BUT I PROMISE YOU A MILLION TIMES OVER THIS WHOLE THING WILL MAKE HER SO MUCH COOLER IN THE LONG RUN.

ALSO BEST FRIEND AWARDS GO TO KIE AND SARAH...

Lily x