Silent Hero

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The common room was already noisy when Katsuki stepped out into the hallway. He was a whole floor upstairs, but he still could hear them. He felt almost jealous of them, being able to be loud and happy. He held his breath for a few moments before shifting his footing and making his way to his dorm. His dorm wasn't actually that far from Kirishima's, lucky for him. He quickly unlocked the door and shoved it open the moment he had heard footsteps coming towards him. He slammed the door, harder than he had meant to, behind himself. Not two minutes later, someone knocked on the door. 

 " K-Kacchan? Do you want to come to watch a movie with us?" 

Of course, it was Izuku. He wasn't sure what he was expecting. Maybe Kirishima? He wasn't even sure himself why he had thought that. He closed his eyes as dropped his bag onto the floor next to the door. It hit the floor with a loud thud. 

" No, FUCK OFF!" Katsuki responded simply.

As usual, it was louder than he had meant for it to be. He felt like he could feel Izuku flinching on the other side of the door. He closed his eyes tightly. He hated this. He hated his voice. He hated his body, everything about himself he hated. However, he didn't even know how to change. He already did once before, but he wasn't sure how to do it again. 

" Okay... I'm sorry for bothering you Kacchan," Izuku's voice had spoken up. 

He felt more surprised that Izuku was still even there, to begin with. His crimson eyes flicked to the door. He watched it for a moment, almost thinking about saying yes. He didn't really want to be around people in reality, or did he? Kastuki didn't even know what he wanted. 

" Just FUCK OFF ALREADY," he yelled back at the door without much hesitation. 

This time, he did mean to yell. However, his volume of yelling more was like screaming at the top of his lungs to others. He could hear Aizawa yelling down the hallway for him to shut up and go to bed already. Downstairs was quieter, so he assumed the worn-out teacher had already yelled at the group too. At least Aizawa didn't only yell at him for it. 

Katsuki waited until he heard footsteps leaving. After he had, he grabbed his phone and flopped onto the bed. The blonde curled up on the bed, not even bothering to pull the sheets over himself. He simply plugged in some headphones and played music. He couldn't hear anything, and with his dorm door locked, no one could even bother him. The music blasted loudly but was a soft theme. Usually, it is what he listened to when he wanted to try to sleep. A lot of the time, Katsuki didn't bother changing out of his uniform. Instead, he often just went straight to bed. 

His eyes fell closed, but even the attempting resting-state didn't give him the freedom he wanted. The replays of every little comment from everyone around him wouldn't stop. They felt like they kept getting louder and louder, more and more overwhelming by the passing minute. Katsuki almost wanted to ask why everyone was always so upset with him and his voice. Why couldn't people understand that there are people who quite literally can't control their level of voice? He shifted himself to lay on his back. His eyes stared at the ceiling through the pitch-black night. 

Not even the moon bothered to light his room. He didn't really blame him. He didn't want to be around himself either. He felt as if he, also, didn't deserve to have the moons protecting light. After about an hour of laying there, just staring and trying to drown out the replays of memories and quoting with music, he broke down. Katsuki simply could not take it anymore. He wanted them to stop. He wanted to please them. He also just didn't want to hurt people anymore because of his voice. He turned over and pulled his pillow into his chest. He found himself practically sobbing into it. He tried his hardest to choke back the sounds, not wanting them to travel through the dorm's annoyingly thin walls. However, nothing seemed to work.