missing piece, aaron hotchner

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟓: 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐢𝐝𝐞

"I'm home!" I called out as I stepped into the house, throwing my coat onto the handrail of the stairs.

"Thank God." Emmy spoke as she zipped past me, in her bar uniform, "Let's hope they don't fire me."

I sighed, "Look, I was as quick as I could be. Where's Coco?"

"In bed, I gave her a bath and some water. I'm leaving the rest to you." She answered briskly, stepping outside, and closing the door in my face.

"Nice to see you, Ada. Thank you so much for coming back, Ada. How was work Ada? You are such a great sister Ada." I mumbled to myself as I walked upstairs, turning into Colette's room.

I walked up to her small bed which sat in the centre of the room. She definitely had the nicest room in the house, mostly because I never spent any of my money on things that I want, just on her and my siblings.

I sat next to her on the bed, her light breathing fanning out onto the pillow beneath her, her mouth open in a pout.

I felt her forehead with the back of my hand, she was still warm, but at least she was getting rest. Hopefully, a good night sleep will help her fever break by the morning.

I left her quietly, stepping across the upstairs hallway and into my own room to get changed. I ran my hand across the scorched walls, the paint peeling off to expose the burn marks which still adorned the entire house. I should get it fixed, but to remove all the burned in memories of that day in 1997 seemed like a big step.

A step towards forgetting him.

A step towards forgiving myself.

And I just wasn't there yet.

I walked into my room; it was unquestionably the most horrific room of the house. Any money we had went on the others, making sure they had a good life. There just wasn't the money left over to give myself the luxuries that many people have. For example, a bed. I hadn't had one of those in almost ten years, I sold mine so I could buy Elijah that bike he really wanted for his birthday. I don't regret it, the mattress on the floor worked well enough.

A deep thumping of a knock came from downstairs. I made the descent to the front door, opening it to two unfamiliar faces.

The one of them wore a black cap and tracksuit, his face had a tattoo cascading down the side of it. Some sort of writing, I think. The other had worn out jeans and a baggy hoodie, with a long coat over the top. The hood of his coat sat mighty on the top of his head.

"Can I help you?" I asked suspiciously, keeping the door close to me.

"Is Dawson here?" The one of them jerked out.

I swallowed heavily, "Which Dawson do you mean?"

"My man Eli." The other one responded.

"Elijah? No. He's not here." I answered, trying to close the door.

The one wearing the cap stuck his foot in the door, "Well sweetheart can you tell him that he's messed with the wrong group. He better keep his eyes open wide from now on."

"You should go." I spoke quickly, trying not to let my nerves show. They smiled at me before leaving, and I shut the door forcefully.

I locked the door in all possible places, breathing heavily as I turned my back to it.

What has he gotten himself into now?

My ears picked up the light cries of Colette from upstairs, I stopped thinking about whatever was going on with Elijah, Coco was my main priority.

I walked into her room, seeing her sitting up in her bed with tears running down her reddened cheeks.

"Coco baby, what's wrong?" I cooed as I sat down in front of her.

She sniffed, "I don't feel good."

I hummed sympathetically, feeling her forehead again, it was definitely still warm.

"Okay, how about we go and get you something to eat? Would you like that?" I asked her softly.

She nodded, reaching out her arms for me to pick her up. I smiled as I put her on my hip, bringing her downstairs with me and placing her into her seat.

I poured her a glass of water, putting it in front of her, and made her some buttered toast, taking a bite myself.

I sat next to her, my leg bouncing up and down as I thought about my encounter with those two men. They said that Elijah messed with the wrong group... but what did that mean? What did that mean for him?

I sat with Colette until the early hours of the morning. Listening to her babbling about whatever television show she had been watching; but I didn't mind, the fever was mostly gone, and she was acting like herself again. She was definitely taking after me in terms of being a television and film fanatic.

I don't think that I wanted to escape my reality like what Spencer had said. It was more that I preferred the idea that everything I watched could come true. The fantasy, the romance, the adventures. I wanted proof that it could happen in real life.

I hope it wasn't as annoying as Emmy and Elijah thought it was. I presume that it was just them being my siblings, but maybe everyone else thought it was annoying too?

I pondered this for a moment, before shaking myself out of it. Who gives a damn?

"Remember you're the one who can fill the world with sunshine." I spoke to myself with a smile.

~

I had taken Colette to bed, keeping my fingers crossed that she slept through the night. I should be in bed myself now, I was extremely tired from the day, but something was stopping me. Like there was a magnetic pulling me away from the peace of sleep. Even if I did sleep, it would surely be restless.

I put on some light violin music, connecting it to my speaker as I stood in the middle of the living room.

I used to dance, I loved it.

The beauty, the majesty, the way I could let my body do whatever it wanted to the flow of the music. It gave me a safe place to express my emotions, to deal with whatever was going through my head.

I had to stop when I went to college six years ago. Dance was expensive, but it was the only thing I allowed myself to continue until the last minute. With me having to pay tuition fees, it just wasn't sensible to carry on.

Now, I stood in my living room, letting the smooth notes of the music move my limbs like I was just a puppet, with the music being my strings. My arms flailed above me, whirling myself around. Foot forward. Back. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt like this, so free, so serene.

If Emmy saw me like this, she would surely laugh, no one else understood it; except for my dad. He would come to all my shows and performances, however small. He loved it, watching me on stage. Sometimes, he would join in with my dances in the garden, putting all his effort into the moves- that was one of my favourite memories of us.

My most treasured memories are when we went to the fairground outside our street. It was an annual thing, the same time each year they would set up this enormous fair on a large field which sat just around the corner, it always had the most beautiful sunsets there. I should take Colette this year, make it a memory for her.

I don't think Emmy or Elijah ever went either; they were only two and a half when our dad died. Whereas, I had ten years of memories with dad, they could barely remember him. Mom would never take us; she couldn't bear to think about him. I thought she was just grieving, being more distant from us. I wish that was the reason, because the reality of her distance was far more difficult.

Far, far more.