Complicated Love

12. Emotionally exhausted

Farah's pov

„Please stop!"
The poor girl sobs.
I wanted to help her but I knew that in no way I had any right to interfere. So I just stood there, forced to watch how Luna was practically torturing her child.

After the assembly the Queen had insisted on a little magical demonstration to see how Stella's education was coming along. So now we were back in my office and Luna wasn't pleased at all.
Know idea what got that woman so mad, Stella was doing amazing and I was very proud of her. But her mother didn't share that thought with me at all.

„When you control light, you control what people see."
Luna said coming closer and staring down at her daughter.

„And despite what anyone says matters in this world, appearance is everything."
Her tone was cold and dismissive. I saw Stella's eyes tearing but she held it together.

Brave girl

Suddenly Luna turned to me with a devilish smile.
„You know that better than anyone, Farah. Especially given my efforts to help you maintain them."
She grinned.

Bitch

Yet I stayed calm. I was getting tired of her talking to me as if I was the last garbage. She had gotten to me earlier on but I wasn't letting her do that to me again.
I thought about Saul, his eyes and his calming hand always lingering on my shoulder or my back. He had warned me that Luna would probably lash out once more, especially after having no success finding Callum's murderer.
So I just smiled back, matching the Queen's energy and said:
„Yes, we've both done a great deal to preserve Solaria's reputation."
Luna raised an eyebrow, she was on the verge of starting another tedious discussion.
Aware of the girl still being in the room, I turned to Stella.

„Stella, you did excellent work. You're dismissed."
She left with quick steps and closed the door behind her.

„What the hell was that, Farah?"

Here we go

„I'm not sure what you're talking about, your Grace"

„Cut the act! I see nothing has changed here. You are still using your soft methods that will get us nowhere."

„And I see you still believe fear is the ultimate motivator."

I could see the rage building up in Luna's eyes. I crossed my arms and kept looking at her, determined to stay calm but steady.

„Don't consider yourself immune to that. You serve at my leisure, Farah. And moods can change."
I breathed in sharply.

Did she just threaten me in my own god damn school!?

As my smile faded Luna's grew. She knew she had hit home and it made her confident enough to give me a last death wishing smile before she left the room without another word.

-

A few hours past and I was still in my office, pacing, sitting and drinking. I felt like I had fallen into a dark hole unable to get out of there.
My thoughts were piling up and I couldn't stop worrying.

This is getting more complicated by the minute

I took another sip of whine and sat myself behind my desk. Since this school year had started there was just one thing coming after another. Waves of problems that required fixing but seemed impossible to be fixed. And I was clearly not myself.
All these new emotions consuming me were making me go mad.
Saul, Bloom and now Luna... love, hate, respect... what a fine line, so easy to blurry.
I felt Sauls energy somewhere in the castle, he seemed to be worried.
But who wasn't?

I longed for him.
I wanted to see him, to tell me that we'll figure it out. But truth be spoken, I was actually a bit nervous to see him again. At the assembly we barley said a word to each other but I had felt his eyes on me. And like the biggest cowered I had ignored him. Too scared to confront myself with all this confusion.

I hate this!

I was about to empty my glas when the door swung open and Ben rushed in. Three girls followed him, they all looked worried.

Oh jeez, what now?

„Ben?"
I stood up as he came around my desk.

„Hear them out"
he whispered. I looked back to the three teenagers in front of me. I recognized them as Aisha, Terra and Musa. They were all in my class and Blooms friends. I gave them a questioning look. Not to my surprise, Aisha stepped forward taking charge.

„Ms. Dowling, you have to do the test again. Not everybody was at the assembly."

„What are you talking about?"

„Beatrix. She was in the east wing with Bloom during the assembly."

My mind started racing and suddenly I had a very bad feeling. Something wasn't right.

„Why was Bloom down there?"
I asked. I hadn't seen the girl for a while now. I had been so caught up with my emotional status that apparently I hadn't even noticed that Bloom wasn't present at the assembly.

„That's what's important to you?"
My eyes darted to the source of that icy question. I saw two big violet eyes looking at me and I immediately put up my defenses, remembering Musa's powers. I raised my eyebrows as response on her tone. Aisha took over again.

„What matters is that Beatrix wasn't at the assembly."
And then it suddenly clicked and I understood why Ben looked so upset. I glanced at him and I saw him nodding slowly.
Bloom certainly wasn't the killer, so the only possible possibility was...

Oh my...

I could literally feel my blood freeze. 

„Oh my God, we know! We know someone killed Callum, and it was a fairy and the assembly was to find out who. Can we please drop the bullshit?"

„Terra!"
Ben looked shocked but he got cut of by her.

„No. No. No. You don't get to shush me. If something happens to Bloom because you didn't tell us- we haven't heard from her in hours and nobody's seen Beatrix."

„If something happens to Bloom"

While Terra kept talking to her father I was thrown yet again into a dark hole. All I could think about now was Bloom.

She's missing. With the killer. She's with the killer, god damn Farah!

How the hell did these things keep happening to her. Inside I punished myself for not having watched Bloom close enough. And as if I wasn't already emotionally overwhelmed, Saul walked in with a puzzelnd expression when he saw the girls.

„It's Ok, they know."
I said dropping my eyes so I didn't need to look at him.

„One of the queen's guards was knocked out. His SUV is gone and she is really... angry."                  
I let out a sigh.

Great. Another reason for her to hate me.

I looked up to my students.

„We'll find her. I promise."
And while I saw their expressions relaxing a little bit, I prayed that I was right.
If Bloom was hurt in any way, it was utterly my fault.
And my fault alone.  

XXX

Hope you enjoyed this little filler my lovely readers. See you soon for the next one ;)