Honorary Scout

Chapter Sixteen

Man, who told Monke to grow a beard? He looked so much better without it.

Evelyn's POV

"Dad?"

"What?"

"Can I go play on the beach?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I'm busy."

"That doesn't mean I am bwusy."

"It means I can't come with you, so you're not going."

"Why can't I go if you can't come with me?"

"Evelyn."

Daddy used a stern tone to take my name and looked up from the papers on his desk which he had been signing. The Survey Corps had built a fairly big wooden building as the first concrete base outside the walls out here on the shore by now but for that to happen, all the senior officers and many of the recruits too had had to stay here, miles away from home, for months on end. All the senior officers included all the soldiers I considered my family, and so it was no surprise thay I too had been here, miles away from home, for months on end. Then again, my home was where my family was implying that I didn't feel any sort of emptiness either. Besides, I never got bored of the many hours I spent collecting seashells on the beach, making weird shapes in the sand, or just running around in the water. The only rule was that an adult always had to be nearby to supervise me. Today, however, Dad did not appear to be in the mood to supervise me. He seemed extremely busy with all the paperwork he had suddenly procured out of nowhere and Auntie Hange too, judging by what I could see through the crack in the door of Dad's office, was engrossed with their duties of a commander in their own office.

"Yes, yes, I know the rules."

I muttered softly and tilted my head at Dad.

"Can't someone else go with me?"

"Everyone else is busy too. The workload is heavy for everybody today. Why don't you just sit here and play?"

Dad offered and patted his lap, even though he knew I would refuse. I had never been able to bring myself to play or fall asleep in an office ever since Commander Erwin's death because I always used to sleep in his arms for my afternoon nap while he would be working at his desk, and hence I never felt comfortable lazing around in an office ever since he left. Dad easily identified that sadness in his eyes and turned his head away from me.

"Just go back to your room, Evelyn. And look at all the clouds today; it looks like there's going to be a storm soon. So it's anyway not safe for you to be near the ocean."

"Okay."

I mumbled quietly and walked out of the room, clutching Moon Moon tight to my chest. I felt particularly lonely today, desperately wishing that we could return to that time of a year ago when the mission against the Female Titan hadn't happened yet. There were so many people back then that at least one person would've been able to make time for me, no matter how heavy the workload was; that person most likely being Ms. Petra or Reiner.

Reiner.

My lower lip quivered and I clutched Moon Moon even tighter to my chest, sniffing softly. I still remembered that when I would be absolutely alone and lonely, he would always manage to make time to come to me and would sometimes even sing me a really soft and beautiful song. I had never understood the lyrics back then and I didn't understand them now either. But just the feeling of being in his arms and listening to his voice would give me the feeling that there was always somebody there for me in this world. Now, when I glanced into another office and saw everyone working and talking and laughing amidst themselves, I felt lonelier than ever.