Ghost in the Present

Chapter 18

Ayaw ko nang umalis but he wants me to go...just so I could achieve my dreams. Sounds sweet but it feels like the opposite.

But he's right, pangarap ko nga 'yon simula bata pa ako. And if I accepted that letter months earlier ay baka umalis agad ako na hindi nagdadalawang isip. Because there's nothing holding me back that time, but now, I have him...as my reason to stay.

Aizen made my life better, he makes me feel like I will still be happy and okay, even if I choose to stay here. Na kahit nandito lang ako ay kaya ko paring maging successful.

But he made it clear that he won't ask me to stay...and that decision is making me feel bittersweet.

"We'll spend the days before you leave together, we'll make good memories."

I smiled when I remembered those words from him, 'yon ang huli niyang sinabi bago kami maghiwalay no'ng gabing 'yon...at 'yon nga ang ginawa niya.

We had dates, we studied together, we watched movies, we went to places we've never been...basically, we were always together after that.

And now that we have three months left at katatapos lang ng exams namin, we decided to go to Tagaytay. Hindi ko first time na makapunta but it was his, that's why it's memorable.

"Ayaw ko. Hindi ako sasakay d'yan." Halos itali ko na ang katawan ko sa poste no'ng makita ang super viking sa harapan namin pati 'yong drop tower.

Hindi ko naman first time sa amusement park pero takot talaga ako sa mga rides, carousel nga lang yata ang kaya kong sakyan.

"It's fun." He said while smiling, tila inaasar pa ako. "Didn't know you're afraid of heights."

"Hindi ka naman nagtanong." I answered while still wrapping my arms around the pillar.

He laughed at me. "Cute."

Lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan ang dalawang kamay ko at dahan-dahan 'yong kinalas sa poste.

"You should start overcoming your fears."

Umiling ako. "That ride is too much, paano kung..."

He chuckled. "You're overthinking again."

Right. I pouted and looked at the ride again. Nakakatakot talaga pero may point siya...pero ayaw ko pa rin!

"Come on. I'm here, okay?" Nakangiti niyang sabi at inakbayan pa ako no'ng makalas na niya ng tuluyan ang kamay ko sa pagkakahawak sa poste.

No...no...I won't ever!

"Ayaw ko!" Mariin kong sagot.

But that eventually made me a liar because a few minutes after that, I found myself yelling my lungs out as I closed my eyes while riding the viking.

"Ayoko naaaa!" I repeatedly yelled, pero hindi ko rin maipagkakaila na nakakatuwa rin dahil ni minsan ay hindi ko inakala na magagawa ko ang bagay na 'yon.

Aizen was just laughing at me the whole time, hawak-hawak niya rin ang kamay ko na isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit nakaya ko ang nakakatakot na ride.

Pareho kaming hinihingal at medyo nahihilo pagkababa namin. My head still feels like spinning at medyo nasusuka ako, while he's just smiling at me habang hinahabol ang paghinga.

"Ang saya, diba?" Nakangisi niyang tanong at muntik na akong mapairap dahil doon.

"We're not riding that again! Ever!"

He chuckled and nodded his head. "Okay, but at least you had the experience now."

We spent the whole at Sky Ranch, kung anu-ano pa ang sinakyan namin pero hindi na kasing lala ng kanina. We also ate a lot and took a lot of pictures...as a memory that we were once here, happy and youthful.