Make You Know Love

stay

"Too shy to say, but I hope you stay" — Billie Eilish

***

Anastasia felt a heavy sense of deja vu as she lay on the couch, staring at the ceiling while trying to figure out what was going on. She didn't have terribly high expectations of the outcome this time, though.

She knew her relationship with Jungkook was worth a lot, enough that he wouldn't drop her like a hot potato. Probably. But she was no longer sure if that was the best choice for him. She didn't want to jump to conclusions and become some self-sacrificing burden, but she remembered the last time Jungkook chose to stay with her. For a while, she'd wondered if he'd ever make it out of the dark haze that overcame him. Whatever happened, she never wanted to see him like that again.

But this was all "worst-case scenario", situations conjured up out of anxiety and a bit of "leave him before he leaves you". If she looked at it realistically, the men all clearly loved each other and would likely work things out. After all, there was no way seven men were that close without having learned to put away their pride in favor of their relationship.

And best-case scenario, the six were gone in a week and things could go back to their regularly scheduled program. Though she didn't have high hopes of that coming true, nothing was ever that easy when it came to relationships, especially one as unique as theirs.

Because their relationship was unique. She'd hardly spent any time with them, but it had already been enough for her to notice. They maneuvered through and around each other like a perfectly designed machine and she was the wrench that just got thrown in — derailing everything.

She didn't know what to think about that, honestly. Cleary Jungkook had had quite the life before her and he'd told no one. What was she supposed to think? A relationship too personal to share, but now he was forced to.

On one hand, these people were bound to come up eventually, if she and Jungkook were really to stay together as they'd always planned, but on the other hand, she found herself wishing it'd all been revealed in a better way. She imagined Jungkook felt the same because as much as he seemed delighted to have the six others with him, there was a hesitance in how he acted now. A fear of something — probably her reaction to how they were so close and who they were to him.

The curiosity burned inside her, but she could be patient. For Jungkook, she would be patient.

Her mind wandered back to what they were doing right then. How were they reconciling? When Taehyung had lunged at Jungkook earlier, the action, although filled with outrage, hadn't seemed malicious. He hadn't wanted to do any actual harm to the younger, only express the emotions inside of him. But the concern was; would that rage escalate?

Jimin had been ready to stop Taehyung, but would the others lend a hand? Or would they turn against Jungkook? She couldn't predict the outcome.

An hour passed with these thoughts, then two. At the start of the third hour, there was a knock at her door.

Anastasia wasn't sure she was ready to face what was on the other side, yet. She hadn't decided what she wanted, what she was okay with, or how she should act.

Slowly and nervously she approached the door, peeping through the peephole just to be sure that it actually was Jungkook. What she found felt worse than if it hadn't been Jungkook.

It was Jungkook and company.

Steeling herself, she took a deep breath and opened the door. Jungkook's presence, as always, made her heart beat too fast and her stomach do flips.