𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑

XLVIII. Live Stream

Chapter 48, Live Stream
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" I just want to know why you thought it was okay to say that, I just think we should stay friends because all this are we friends or not crap is screwing with my head. "

~ Natalie James's POV ~

"He's been treating me like a friend for no reason at all whenever he's around people but then treat me like a girlfriend alone."

I ranted to Jaden as he fixed his baseball outfit, he had a game today and I decided I'd go watch him play.
He sighed and messed around with his hair before grabbing black eye paint, I looked at him and smiled.

I grabbed the eye paint from him and began to paint it, he smiled at me.
His skin was much softer than Javon.

"I hope he isn't playing you, I mean I understand this is new to him but you deserve a yes or no."

Jaden said, agreeing with me.
I finished the eye paint and grabbed my phone, we walked downstairs and there was the woman of the hour.
Coco.

I brushed it off because I was not about to get into a heated argument with someone who wasn't worth a single ounce of breath.
Javon was sitting on the couch, I'm pretty sure he was on live but I didn't bother saying bye.

Jaden and I walked out and into my car, I drove to the stadium and parked.
We rushed inside as I walked to the crowd and sat down in the front row, I watched as he went off to his team.
I watched as Jaden had hit home runs.

I still didn't know what was going on but I still cheered him on, he smiled my way and went back to his team.
It went on like that for about three hours until the Jaden's team won, I was so proud of him I got out of my seat and ran to the field.

He was ran over to me, his arms were wide open.
I jumped into his arms and hugged him tightly, I was proud that he won.
Jaden tried his hardest and everyone knew.

"I'm so proud of you."

The words muffled against his neck but he still heard it, he set me down and took off his snapback.
He placed it on my head and grabbed my hand as we left the stadium, we were pretty hungry so we drove to McDonald's.
As we were waiting for our order, we got a notification that Javon was live.

I joined and didn't comment anything, I watched as Coco moved into the frame.
My heart told me I shouldn't hate anything as they were friends and nothing more but my head said I should burn her extensions.

There were comments asking how I've been and if we were dating to which he answered 'She's okay and nope.'
I know we weren't dating but he always made me feel like we were, maybe I was making these things up.

I felt like I was going crazy no matter what I did or how I did it, that was until Javon held Coco's hand and whispered something into her ear.
My heart shattered, I mentally punched and kicked myself because I didn't listen to my head once again.
Jaden watched and looked over at me, he took my phone but I took it back.

I wanted to hear what he was going to say, I needed to hear because maybe I was wrong.
Just a few simple words could make me feel like I was walking on air, but the words he said made me feel like I was crawling through fire.

"She's not my girlfriend, we barely talk as much. Honestly I don't think we would ever actually get together."

I turned the phone off and bit my lip, I didn't want the tears that were at the peak of falling to fall.
My lips quivered as I shivered for a moment, we grabbed our food and left the restaurant.

The drive home was silent, what was there that needed to be said?
Even Jaden knew that this was a bigger problem that not even his words of encouragement could help me feel better.

We walked into the house and saw Javon was sitting on the couch watching a movie, Coco was sitting a few feet away from him.
He looked up at me and smiled to which I didn't return, I went to the kitchen and took a deep breath.

As soon as everything was getting better and I was finally happy, it got worse and I found myself depressed.
In my head I believed that I was making myself sick, I kept hanging around with people who didn't care about my existence.

Javon walked into the kitchen with a concerned look on his face, I wasn't in the mood for an argument but I was in the mood for answers.
I just wanted to know what we were to him because in my eyes, we were so close to dating.

"Is something wrong? Jaden didn't even look at me."

I stood silent, everything on my mind were insults and curses, I don't want him to feel hurt but I wish he would just stop.
He sighed annoyed and looked at me, I was doing the dishes in hopes that it would calm me down.

"Can you at least answer me?"

I turned the water off and dried my hands on the towel and looked at him, his words cut deeper than a knife and stood engraved in my brain longer than a tattoo on skin.
My breath hitched as tears slowly streamed down my cheeks, I was tired of crying everytime something went wrong but it was all I could do.

"Your words on the live were honestly, they were just brutal Javon."

I finally said, his face softened and went back to being emotionless.
It was like he was trying to make me feel like he didn't care about anything and I hated that, he knew it.

"Look, it was honesty. Truth hurts and I get I should have reworded it."

I scoffed and looked at him, did he think I was stupid?
What he could've done was ignore the question and continued, it was difficult enough with him hanging around Coco again.

" I just want to know why you thought it was okay to say that, I just think we should stay friends because all this are we friends or not crap is screwing with my head. "

The words left my voice sounding bitter, I knew it hurt him since he had tears in his eyes as well.
It sounded rude but he deserved it, I'm sick and tired of people treating me like garbage.

"I don't think I could ever be just friends with you Natalie."

His words drove me insane, he was playing mind games and I never knew which words to say to win at love.
I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed, I was exhausted already.

"Then stop it! Stop playing with my feelings and mind!"

I began to shout, tears fell down to the ground, this was going to be our first in person argument.

I should've kept my mouth shut.