𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑

LV. Traumatized

Chapter 55, Traumatized
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" I've been exhausted for months now, would it be so bad to just give up? "

~ Natalie James's POV ~

The day dragged, I was bored out of my mind and alone.
I was going through tests and check ups so visitation was removed for the day, my body ached everytime I moved around.
Finally the night arrived and the tests were over, I was allowed one visitor.

As much as I hate to say it, I was hoping Javon would walk through the door and apologized for his actions but I was slightly disappointed to when Jaden walked in.
I hugged him and we spoke about our day, he went on a date with Danielle.

I was happy for him, I saw the sparkle in his eyes whenever he spoke about her.
We continued the topic about Danielle, turns out they have been hanging out a lot more since the fight.

Which was good, Danielle needed more friends who can keep her calm and treated her with respect and kindness.
Soon, visiting hours were over and I was alone once more.

My thoughts got the best of me, I broke down in tears as I realized my life would never be the same.
I was completely destroyed inside and outside as well, I wanted to just stop living for the moment.
My mind ran free and swam in the ocean of depressive thoughts.

"Why are you crying?"

I looked up and noticed Jenson was walking in with some apple juice and cards, she always did this every night whenever she had free time.
She sat beside me and rubbed my back as I tried my best to calm down.

I felt like I was a burden to everyone right now, I didn't know why.
All I did know was that I put everyone through so much pain that I felt like it was enough.
I sighed and looked at Jenson who was still rubbing my back.

" I've been so exhausted for months now, would it be so bad to just give up. "

I finally said after gathering my thoughts, Jenson nodded her head and stroked my hair as I laid my head down onto her lap.

"It is bad, everyone is waiting for you to return home."

She said softly, I sighed knowing that she was right.
I wanted to be home as well but with everything I went through I couldn't have the need to go home.
My eyes closed as I was giving myself up to sleep.

But as I dreamt away, the dreams tuned into nightmares and I wasn't able to wake up.
When I finally did, I was drenched in sweat and hyperventilating.

It was still dark out but my mind wasn't ready for sleep anymore, I've been having nightmares about Veronica and the accident.
I was traumatized, I was so scared of being alone that I grabbed the phone on the night stand and began to dial numbers.

"Natalie? It's the middle of the night, are you okay?"

I smiled softly as I heard Valentino's voice, He's been checking up on me for a while now.
He always told me that if I needed him to talk that he would always pick up, I didn't hesitate to begin to tell him what was wrong.

He listened patiently and added his opinion in whenever it was needed, I was choking on my words because I was scared.
What if Veronica came back and I would be dead?

All of these thoughts ran through my head, everything was starting to hit me like a truck now.
I was given up due to being broke, I fell in and out of love and much worse.

Why did the universe choose me to go through all of this?
Was it to teach a lesson to never take thing for granted?

All of this was unfair to me, I hung up on Valentino to gather my thoughts.
As I looked around my heart stopped, there was Veronica in the corner.

She ran over to me and I screamed louder than I ever had.
That was when I was shaken awake, I jolted up and screamed louder.

"Natalie it's okay, you're safe."

I look to who was holding me, Jaden was there holding me as I tried to calm down.
I didn't deserve this, I didn't want any of this to happen to me.

Why can't I just be dead already?