If I Only Were

Clean

For the past month, I've been completely happy. I haven't ever thought about cutting. Never.
For a whole month, my motto was non-existent.
A Cut A Day Keeps Suicide Away. That was non-existent.
Calum says that it's a great thing to not cut, and it is.
Now I understand why it's not good to cut. If I can learn to stay clean and not cut maybe I could do great things. Actually do something with my life. I wouldn't have to pretend to smile. I wouldn't have to go home and cry. My new motto was:
Happiness Everyday keeps Death Away.
Stupid right? Well, I was in bliss.
I felt like I could become happy forever, become normal again.
I found what it means to live.
-
The boys at school started being nicer to me. I guess because of Calum's somewhat popular status.
Yes, it was official. We were a couple! Should I be happy about this? Of course, I guess... I just don't want to hurt him. You know?
At school, I've been told that I've been smiling. A lot. Haha, well that doesn't bother me. I'm just happy.
My sleeves weren't pulled down at all in the past month. I never heard the names "Suicidal Whore," "Whore," "Mutt," "Mutation."
Everything was just grand.
-
Okay, I have been getting closer to Calum.
We 'hung out' a lot more. I don't really know if you could call it a date. Sometimes, we just got coffee... a lot. Not that we didn't do that anyways...
-
"Hey Aria," Calum asked one day.
"Yeah?"
"How have you been..."
"I've been fine..."
"I mean with cutting, and all that..."
"Oh. Well, I've been clean for over two weeks now..."
"That's great!"
"I guess..." I just did something I haven't done in awhile--I smiled.
Being Calum, he smiled back.
Before I left, he hugged me.
"Stay strong," were his words, if I remember correctly.
I stood there for awhile, hugging him in silence.
Then, I smiled again, and left.
-
That lasted for a month. For a month, I was happy.
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Author's Note
I'm sorry if this chapter is bad, I was having trouble with it. Luckily, my friend helped me get started. And this is how it turned out. Sorry if it was uninteresting and bad. But I hope you enjoyed it, and there's more to come!