Poems for the lost souls

Unnamed

What are you doing now

Showering
Thinking
Listening to music
But not crying
Not cutting
Not dying
Yet
Wondering if my existence means anything at all
Wondering if life will finally cut me a break
Wondering if I'll finally feel sain
Wondering what would've happened if I hadn't or if I had been different
If things had played out differently if I had acted different
What would happen if I died tonight What would happen if I let loose tonight
What would happen if I said FUCK LIFE tonight
Sometimes I want to take the noose to my neck
The knife to my throat
My feet to the edge of the clifff
A bullet to the head
Stayed under the water to long
What if
What if....
I said fuck life tonight
If I said I want to die tonight
If I revealed my hidden self, tonight What if I released all that is bottled up?
Told those who've I've hidden it from? Where would I be tomorrow?
Where would they be tomorrow?
Would they be by my side?
Or miles away?
Would they love me?
Or hate me?
Would they try to fix me knowing they can't?
Or let me stay the way I am.
They say don't fix it if it isn't broken But sometimes they say fuck it I don't want to do it over.
To much work Rather scrap it for its parts
Taking bits of me to use on someone else
Or take a hammer and finish the job. Fuck life.
Fuck people
Fuck pain
Fuck my fucking brain
And all the demons inside
That constantly haunt me day in night out
Isn't lifes wight enough?
Do you need to add more pressure? Do you need to make me more broken?
They laugh at my pain
And I laugh in there face
Funny, cuz sometimes I enjoy the pain
Sometimes I enjoy the taunting
The way it makes me insane