Game Over ~AntiAverage

7. Henrik

I was... stunned, to say the least. I spent the next three hours just going over basic information with him. Asking him questions along the way only for him to say he didn't know. When I brought up Jackie I could see him visibly flinch as if the very name caused him pain.

"Anti, what's your issue with fire?" He narrowed his eyes and I frowned. "You've never been afraid of it before."

"It's just... I don't know." He frowned as he looked up at me. "Jackie scares me."

"Why?" He shrugged and I sighed running a hand through my hair. "Ok, then... Tell me the first thing you do remember. We never actually went over it."

"You mean... when I woke up?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he narrowed his eyes in thought. "The first thing... Would be the gun in my face." I just sat there listening. I could already tell who that was. Chase is the only one that uses a gun amongst us septic egos. However, he showed no signs of fear when speaking about him. Just Jackie... " I opened my eyes to find a gun in my face and... I don't know. I was scared but... Chase he... he let the gun drop a bit. Like he wasn't threatening me just guarding? Maybe? I don't know. It wan't until Jackie yelled out did things get bad. I was already terrified. The gun... the unsurety... All those faces and not a single clue who any of them were... it was getting to me. Jackie threw literal fire at me and..." His hands started to shake so bad, I noticed right away how broken he was. It was almost like a milder form of a PTSD episode. "It burned... It hurt and he was just so loud. I couldn't... The voice wouldn't shut up. All I could smell was..."

"Wait, back up." He looked up at me with confusion and I frowned pushing up my glasses. "Voices? You've never mentioned voices, but I don't think they just..."

"They won't ever shut up. Constantly yelling at me, telling me things I don't wanna hear." I frowned as he hugged himself tighter. "And when they start to get pushy things... happen."

"Things?" He nodded as he stared at the ground. "What kind of things?"

"Bad things. Very bad things. Knives..." I unintentionally flinched as his voice cracked saying that word and he sighed. "Knives appear. Almost as if my body is... giving in to what they're saying."

"What are they saying?" His eyes darkened and I frowned at how they seemed to gloss over. That's when I spotted the black creeping into them and I frowned. "Anti?"

"He'll never understand. They'll never understand. They don't believe you. Why would they? It's all pointless." His voice was deeper than it should have been and I frowned. That wasn't Anti. "He'll just go and tell the others you fucked up and then what? You're pathetic. Why are you being so compliant? Who should be letting lose. You should be showing them the monster they..."

"Shut up!" Anti slammed his eyes shut gripping at his hair and I tensed up. I was literally at the edge of my seat feeling nothing but concern for the soul in front of me. This was a side of Anti no one was ever allowed to see. None of us knew Anti dealt with this before. As much as I would love to say that it was a symptom of the amnesia I am a medical professional and I must look at the facts. Anti has always had underlying mental illnesses that I was never able to diagnosis for him. This is more akin to schizophrenia than anything else. His eyes opened again and I frowned seeing the black now turned to green.

"Don't listen to him. What's the point in jumping in? You're fine. right..."

"No." He flinched his eyes flashing black before settling back into the green.

"Yes. Don't fight. You should run. You're not safe. Go find somewhere to hide..." His breathing was becoming erratic as his eyes widened in an almost shocked expression.

"No, he should fight. FIght and kill..." The black crept in again but only around the edges till it looked like his eyes were black and green fighting for control. "No. yes. Kill them. Shut up. Why? What's the point in being pathetic? He's not pathetic. You're both pathetic. He really should pay attention. Pay attention?" I was lost. I understood for the most part what was happening but at the same time, I was lost. Where was Anti in all of this? What exactly is going on? "They all hate him and he's just sitting there. He should fight back. No. Yes. Fight back. No. NOW!" This massive energy ripped through in and I tense up seeing the back completely having taken over. His head cocked to the side as a knife formed in his hand I frowned. He shot me this wicked smirk and I narrowed my eyes. This... This was the Anti I knew. But this isn't the Anti that was sitting there talking to me moments before. This was one of the 'men' in his head. "Well, well, well, doctor. Maybe you should ru..." The black disappeared instantly turning back into the normal human looking brown eyes he had before. He started to shake terrible as he dropped the knife in complete and total shock. "I... don't... I'm sorry. I can't."

"It's quite alright Anti. You did not hurt me." His eyes narrowed and he frowned.

"But I could've." His eyes went wide as he looked over at me in fear. Fear of himself? "What if... What if there's a time a can't stop? What if I really do hurt someone? What if I... What if I go back to being that... monster everyone is so afraid of?"

"Anti..." He shook his head cutting me off and I frowned.

"I don't even remember anything about myself but I know... Everyone... everyone is so afraid of me. So many people have mentioned how I was a danger. E-Even you said that I... Jack kept talking like I would kill Jack. I don't want to kill Jack." My eyes went wide as he pulled his knees up again. Anti doesn't want to kill Jack? I know it's not the same Anti per se but this is how I would image Anti would have been when he first arrived. Surely he was always... bloodthirsty. At least, that's what we all thought. "I don't want to hurt him. He's nice and kind and... I don't know. It's just... I get this feeling that... I'm supposed to protect him."

"What did you just say?" He looked up at me in confusion as I stared at him with confused shock. "R-Repeat what you just said."

"I don't want to hurt him?" I gestured for him to continue and he shrugged. "I don't know. I feel protective of him. Like... He's important to me. I don't understand it but... the idea of me losing control although is scary enough... the idea of hurting Jack makes me sick to my stomach. I want... no. I NEED to keep him safe." He sighed looking away again. "...even from myself. Does that make any sense?"

"Actually it does." He looked back up at me and I narrowed my eyes lost in thought. That's the same type of feeling we've all felt and still do towards the host. He's our creator... the original. Every side at one point has expressed a desire to protect Jack in some way shape or form. Anti he... When we first met him he had already been alive for so long... we never knew what it was like for him. We just assumed that his violent nature made him the 'enemy' we had to protect Jack from. We all just assume the only thing he felt was a desire to hurt Jack. "I just never knew you felt that too."