Between Lies

Jealousy?

"I can't," Ámbar whispered as if she answered Alfredo's sentence, but she expressed her feelings. She couldn't keep her mask on as if everything was well because there wasn't. Ámbar wanted to do something, but she couldn't do anything. She hadn't any plans, nor clues to find out the whole truth.

"I will look for a psychologist for you."

Ámbar's eyes widened, her blue irises lighted up with surprise. "A psychologist? Why?"

She wasn't a mad person. Why was it necessary for her? She knew she had mistaken, but everyone had. Manuel said the same.

"Because it helps you recover from your loss and process your identity." Alfredo's eyes flooded with kindness to her. He just wanted to help her, of course, but Ámbar had reservations with psychologists. They saw it to her kidneys which made her shiver.

"It isn't necessary," she said and lowered her head. Ámbar didn't want to reveal what she knew in front of a stranger.

"I know you won't agree with me, but I want to help you," Alfredo's voice cracked.

One more teardrop ran down on Ámbar's shapely cheek. It landed on her arm, and she felt cool at that little point. Cold as Sharon's heart.

"Thank you!" She wiped the tear away even if it wasn't necessary as it wasn't on her face anymore. She didn't know what else to say, it was harder to be loved by someone than Ámbar thought. She always dreamed about that, to be the most important in someone's life, but she had never counted on its other side. She also felt the same way with Alfredo, and she didn't mean to hurt him. It was enough to live in a lie, she didn't want to involve other people. She didn't want to be like Sharon.

It was like a swear word in her mouth. Sharon's name left a bitter taste in her mouth like the draught she had to swallow when she was ten years old, and she had a terrible sore throat. The bitterness crawled down on her esophagus and reached her stomach.

Alfredo pulled her into a hug till her tears dried on her face. Ámbar didn't clash, she only put her head on his shoulder and inhaled his aroma—candy and aftershave lotion. Her lips curled into a bittersweet smile. She knew how her grandfather, that is how Alfredo liked everything sweet, but it wasn't allowed him to eat too much, even so, from his scent Ámbar thought that he was an orderly visitor to the kitchen's chocolate cupboard.

The hug ended, and Ámbar pulled herself away. She forced her lips to keep smiling even if she couldn't do the same with her eyes.

---

"I don't know how much time I can do it. It's terrible to lie into his eyes," Ámbar complained to Manuel who was sitting in the chair where Alfredo had been some hours ago.

Manuel shook his head. "You aren't lying, only don't tell the truth."

"In my opinion, it's lying."

Manuel shook his head again but changed the theme. "Have you any idea how to convince Sharon?"

"No."

The silence anchored again. Today wasn't their best day. For an unknown reason, their conversation always stopped.

Manuel nervously scratched the back of his neck and turned his head to the machines. The beeping voice made him upset. It always bothered their conversation when the anger flooded the girl because Ámbar's pulse had raised and the picture came into his mind of how Bia got the panic attack.

"How is she?"

"She is out now, but she will have some examinations. It isn't normal at her age."

"The panic attack can appear in every age," Ámbar said as she remembered what they had learned in the emergency class. Her gaze scanned Manuel's, and she could read out what he was about saying, so she interrupted him with a raised index finger. "I know that her faint wasn't normal," she added.