3 weeks, 3 LONG weeks since I've found Tommy and that he's been in the hospital. 3 weeks, I cannot believe though it's been that long already. And during all this time, I've been busy and with help from my bandmates and Kiss, I've gotten things rolling as far as citizenship paperwork, seeing about getting his guitars and the like. Great progress has been made in getting everything done, helping Tommy to at least have the pieces of his livelihood in place...Tommy though, of my poor Tommy. He has had some close calls in that his heart rate has spiked several times, and I know...I know he's relieving in his sleep what not only led to him being here, but every abuse he's every suffered...one night, he nearly flatlined.
All of this is killing me to watch Tommy suffer so and the sad thing is, it's not over yet. I am determined to be there for him no matter what. I so often spend nights here, by his bedside...refusing to leave. I do not leave until the guys FORCE me to go home to try and rest, but all I can think of is Tommy. I was stupid to question fate, bringing him to me or me to him in the most unusual of ways. And too, moreover have worked on some band stuff here and there.
Currently, I am at my usual post by Tommy's beside surrounded by Phil, Steve, Sav, Rick, Eric and Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, and Bruce Kulick. Paul and Bruce are together, and not only together, but married. Gene also had his partner: Peter Criss. And it hurts too seeing all these couples here. I sigh heavily.
"The first time we've seen him in years...and...I wish to God it wasn't like this. I wish it hadn't taken us to long to get here too." Paul tries vainly to wipe the tears from his eyes.
"Babe, I know...I know...but we HAVE come together for Tommy helping him getting his life back together or trying to." Bruce tries to console his husband, despite being an emotional mess himself, which is rather like myself now.
"Thank you all for your help.... this.... this is so fucking difficult to watch, knowing what happened...and IS happening to him." I fight to hold back tears, my head in my hands. 3 bloody weeks, he nearly died....and he's nearly died being in the hospital what with the flatlining and other close calls. I hope soon he can get peace and I will do all that I can to help him...I will do whatever I need for the man I love...that I want to truly get to know.
Gene Simmons the man who LOOKS intimidating is crying a sight to give anyone pause, "What has that MONSTER done to him? What have we done, not stepping in sooner?"
"Demon baby.... we couldn't have done anything.... i wanna hunt that fucker down and kill him...give em a taste of his OWN medicine." Peter snarls.
"Joe has barely left Tommy's side," Phil states squeezing Steve's hand.
"I can't...I just...it kills me to leave him. I found him..." I take a deep breath trembling, "Covered in his own blood, everything inside and out was bruised, broken ribs...he lost an innocent baby, he lost HIS innocence...completely shattered. He's nearly died while he's been asleep...I'd wager..." I break down and sob, "I'd wager...he doesn't want to live, yet he can't die.... there will be no peace for him alive or dead...I feel that Tommy is feeling that...quite strongly. I should not have questioned fate, when I was asked if I loved him and I said, 'how could i?' that I didn't even know him. I WAS wrong!" I feel someone wrap an arm around me, I look up thru the haze of tears and its Rick Allen.
"Joe...mate calm down and breath...you're fixing to give yourself a panic attack. And you've been by his side regardless. And too I can see now, you'll never question fate again. I see how much you love Tommy. And I know, I KNOW you will wait for him how ever long it takes."
"I will...I'd wait forever if I had too." I sigh, at least avoiding the danger of a panic attack. "And thanks Rick...I need that."
"Any time Joe. Any time." Rick pats me on the shoulder. We all chat for a while, and then everyone leaves promising to come back the next day, also forgotten to mention too not only had they brought stuff or helped me with stuff for Tommy but brought me things I needed as well. It means a lot to have so much support...and still I struggle, but the support does help at least some.
"Just us again Tommy, everyone's been by. All your friends, mine...I...I...." I stop and again break down this is KILLING ME, and I feel guilty because if Tommy knew he would feel worse or even more broken than he is already, "I'm sorry...so sorry you're suffering so and I feel guilty because if you knew how hard this was to watch you suffer, I just feel helpless...you would feel even worse and I am sorry for that....so sorry." I whisper tearfully. I must take his hand, hoping somehow deep down that it will help him, even though when he wakes...he will of course be petrified of touch.
I try in vain to dry my tears and resume talking, "I promise I am not going ANYWHERE ever. You know they've literally had to force me from your side." I pause a moment and then keep going, "I hope you know Tom.... somehow deep down know how much I care about you love you. I will whenever you wake, be there in any way shape or form NO matter what. I would wait a lifetime for you, and I will. Now, your room is all ready at the house. Got lots of bookshelves and some books for you, even have some guitars and amps. We've made so much progress in helping you to get back at least some of your life. Your friends and mine, would do anything for you and so would I. I love you...that's why I do what I do."
Left unspoken, is Jamie has still not been found.... that worries me, and it worries me more because again if Tommy knew it would scare him even more. I worry too because he's nearly died a few times while in the hospital, torn between the desire to die, to live and just struggling even while asleep as he is...and it will be even harder for him once he awakes. This is hard so damn hard; it will only get harder.... but I will not abandon Tommy. I will not abandon my love. Fate brought me to him for a reason and too as I say, I was WRONG to question it. Never again will I do so.
A/N: Friends, family....so much emotion, so much hardship. Joe is getting support as well as Tommy...Next chapter, Tommy will at last awake...to what will be for him a hellish awakening
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A Leppard's Kiss of Fate: A Def Leppard/Kiss Romance
RomanceSummary: Fate has a funny way of playing out.... What if you were in a relationship, a very abusive one with your partner and then they finally and completely abandon you, leaving you BROKEN in all ways? For that is what happens to one Tommy Thayer...
