Searching Purgatory [COMPLETED]

Chapter Nine

Dean looked down at the girl in his arms. She was gasping for breath and her hands were clutching his shirt in her trembling fists. He had no clue what was going on. Three seconds ago, this was Crowley and now it was Zoe. Had he just stabbed Zoe?

He looked down at the blood seeping through her shirt and his shaking hands made their way to the wound, putting pressure on her abdomen in an attempt to staunch the bleeding. Blood was pounding in his ears and he looked from Zoe's face back down to the injury in absolute panic.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered. "I am so so sorry, Zoe. Come on, stay with me." But he knew that nothing he said would fix what he had done: angel blades killed everything. He struggled to lift the hem of her shirt so he could see the damage.

Zoe gripped his wrist in her hand, stopping him, and he looked down at her, his vision blurring as the tears threatened to spill over. "I'm so sorry," he whispered again, unable to say anything else.

Zoe managed to shake her head just enough that he could see. "It's my fault," she choked out. Her cheeks were streaked with her own tears and she forced a weak smile onto her face. "That's what I get for not telling you."

She coughed again, blood dribbling down her chin, and then she was still. Dean gripped her face in his blood stained hands. "No," he muttered, "no no no. You can't be gone. You can't leave me too." But she didn't move, only continued to stare at nothing.

A sob forced it's way out of Dean and he pressed his forehead to Zoe's as he realized that he'd just killed the only girl he'd ever...

The floor creaked behind him and he turned around to see Sam standing in the doorway, a look of horror on his face. "Dean...what happened?"

Dean looked from Sam to Zoe and back again. His hands still cupped her face and he realized he had gotten her blood all over her pale cheeks. In an attempt to wipe it off with his thumbs, he smeared it, staining the red over her freckles.

"Dean," Sam was gripping his shoulder now and Dean looked over at him, trying to keep himself calm and focused. "We need to go, Dean. This place is covered in Demons and we can't stick around."

Dean looked back down at Zoe. "I...I can't leave her here, Sam." Just like at the hospital--what felt like so long ago--he couldn't leave Zoe behind and couldn't ditch her. Especially not when the property was crawling with demons. "I can't..." His voice cracked and he stopped talking.

"Dean," Cas had entered the room then, "we have to go." Without another word, he gripped Dean's shoulder and they were gone.

* * * * * * * * * *

In no time at all, they were all back at the Bunker. Sam disappeared to take a still sleeping Lauren to her bedroom and Gabriel and Sage made up some excuse to disappear. They could all tell that Dean was in a fragile state and that he didn't want to talk about it.

It was one in the morning now that they were back in the states and Dean just wanted to go to sleep, to forget what had happened if it was only for a few hours.

"Dean," Cas said, "what happened in there?"

Dean sighed and dragged his hands down his face. "I don't want to talk about it." Cas looked at him pitifully. "Really, Cas, I'm fine. I just...not right now." Before Cas could say anything else, Dean disappeared down the hallway.

Dean couldn't cry. He was numb and confused. He still had no clue what had happened in Crowley's mansion--how he could one second be stabbing Crowley and the next be stabbing Zoe. Sure, they didn't necessarily get along but Dean liked to think that their pranks and teasing were just that.

He had to admit that Zoe had grown on him, and not in a way that most girls grew on him. Zoe didn't put up with his crap, she teased, flirted, and pranked back. The only person that had ever done that before was Sam. And Dean was in no way sister-zoning Zoe.

Dean realized that he had subconsciously walked past his own bedroom and to Zoe's. She had always kept the door shut when she was in there and locked up when she wasn't. Of course this had only peaked Dean's curiosity, making him want to know what was so secret behind the door. Now that she was gone, there was no stopping him. Some may call this disrespectful to the dead girl's memory, but--the way Dean saw it--it was the best way to respect her.

Pulling the lock picking kit out of his back pocket and removed the necessary tools needed to pick the simple lock on the door. Twisting the handle, he walked inside...

Only to get doused in water.

Dean glared up at the now empty bucket swinging overhead. His everything was wet and he was almost angry. But instead he smiled. It was almost ironic how, even now, Zoe was getting back at him. He shut the door behind and took a look around the room.

Dean only needed one word to describe this room: chaos. Painted canvases covered the floor, walls, and dresser. Paints and paint brushes were scattered everywhere and he counted six visible sketch books. He wondered where she slept since there was a canvas as big as her bed on her bed.

Despite the craziness of the room, it was beautiful. Dean would never admit it to Sam, but he did appreciate art (mostly because he was a failure with a paint brush). Dean made his way around the room, admiring the sketching and paintings and charcoal drawings Zoe had done. He recognized some of them as rooms of the Bunker or there was one of Sage chasing Gabriel around the round table for a piece of candy. She had sketched out Meg flirting with Cas and had perfectly captured Cas's confused expression. There was half a sketch book filled with sleeping Sam, eating Sam, reading Sam.

And then Dean found it. It was the largest sketch book he could find and every page was filled with his face. There were pages that were completely dominated with his brooding, concentrated look and there were pages with ten of him, little floating heads of him smiling, laughing, eating a burger.

"Dean?" Sam called from down the hallway.

Dean slammed the book closed and threw it back on the floor before hurrying out of the room. Making sure to lock the door behind him.