Your dearest, Sodapop.

Chapter 7 - big brother

It's been 3 days since I've last delivered the letter to Dally and Johnny.

My heart is racing. I'm running the fastest i have in my whole life. My vision is starting to get blurry from the tears forming in my eyes. I cant look back. I cant go back. I have to keep running. No matter how much I want to save him. I soon reach an old church. 'Where am I?..' I asked myself. I hear voices. I walked closer until I was at the entrance.
'Hello?' I called out.
'Shhhhhh...' I heard softly, 'she's here.'
'Whose here? Whose she? Whose in there?' I called out so many questions at once. Nobody answered.
I went inside to find Ponyboy and Johnny, both curled up close to eachother.
'What's wrong? What happened?' I ask quietly since I can sense they're scared.
'Don't come near us! Don't hurt us! You did this to us! You monster!' They chanted.
'W-what? What did I do?' I stuttered.
'You killed him.'
'Who? Who did I kill?' I asked
'You killed our dearest, beloved, Sodapop!' Pony cried out.
My heart stopped. I look behind me, about to run out the entrance but the door I just entered from is now gone. I look back at Pony and Johnny to see them gone. The space inside the church is getting smaller and smaller. I cant breathe. I cant move. I cant speak.

My eyes flush open and I wake up in a pool of sweat. My heart was racing as if I just ran 100 miles. I look around too see I'm not in my bedroom. But I'm in the Curtis' living room. I called out,
"Pony? Johnny? Are you there?" And soon after I heard loud foot steps running down the stairs,
"Y/n! Are you okay? What happened? You looked like you've seen a ghost!" Johnny stuttered.
"I guess it was just a bad dream.." I mumbled too myself. Ponyboy soon entered the room and they both sat themselves next to me on the couch.
"Is everything okay, y/n?" Pony asked in a concerned tone.
"Yeah.. I just had a bad dream that's all! Anyway, what am I doing here?" I asked still shocked after what had happened.
"Well, after you talked with Dally and Johnny, me and Johnny went for a walk and found you passed out in the lot. Y/n, it's pouring rain outside why would you go!" Pony yelped.
"I don't even remember walking too the lot. I think I'm just tired, and most definitely stressed. Ima go get some water." I stood up but before I could even walk I got pulled down by Johnny.
"Y/n you need rest.. stay here. I'll go get you something to eat and drink, alright?" Johnny said with his hands glued to my shoulders. I just nodded in response. I was too tired to even talk.

Soon, Johnny came back with soup and water for me. God bless his soul. He's too pure for this world. I finished up in a few minutes. I reached for my bag and remembered I had a few more letters. This next one was for Darry. God why me.

A few hours later I looked at the clock. 6:48pm. Great. Darry should be here any minute. Before I knew it the door flung open to a cold, wet, Darry.

"Hey kid, I didn't expect to see you here. How are y'a feelin?" He asked, putting his stuff away.
"I'm ok.. Darry, there's something I need to give you.." I hesitated.
"Sure, what is it kid?"
I reached into my bag and pulled out my last 3 letters. Pony, me, ha! Darry. I shoved the other 2 back into my bag and motioned for him to take a seat next to me. Luckily, he did. Without a word I passed him the letter.
"Y/n.. what's this?" He asked confused while opening it.
"It's a letter.. from.. well. It's a letter from Sodapop." I said staring at the door in-front of me. He stopped opening it and took a second to process.
He looked at me, sighed, and then back at the envelope. He continued to open it and took the letter out. He's hesitantly read the letter,

Dear Darry,

Hey dare-bear. How are y'a doin? How's Ponyboy and y/n doing? I hope you're taking care of them and most importantly, taking care of yourself. You know how important that is, right? Please. Just take a day or 2 off work. Reflect what's been happening. And then get back on track. You can't stay sad forever huh? That's what you've always told me. And hey, it's true. You gotta move on from things. It's good to worry in the moment but nothings gonna change if you keep doin the same thing every darn day. Your boss will understand if you need a day off, trust me! Spend time with the gang. Or even just with yourself. Take a shower, wash your face, shave, workout, go for a walk, enjoy the life you have! It's so important to enjoy every little thing that happens. Change is also really important and a big step in growth. Eh, sorry i sound so formal. Anyways that's besides the point, I need you to find what makes you happy. And then do it. Even if it's the smallest thing in the world. Orrrr a new love interest, oooooo!! I know you've been talkin to that girl, Barbara was it? Well whoever she is get closer with her! Find a new card game! Find a new cake recipe! Do what ever you can to change. I love you so much Darry. You've done way too much for me and Pony. Take care alright? Remember. Change can only happen if you change.

Yours truly, Sodapop.

Tears were forming in his eyes. He was holding the paper a little too tight that it started to crumple. He took a deep breath in and out. His eyes made it to mine and we stayed like that for a moment.
"Gosh y/n. You really loved him didnt y'a?" He said wiping the tears. I had never seen him cry before. Well I did once when his parents died.. but never again. I took him into a big hug.
"Yeah, I did love 'em. What am I sayin I still do. And I always will." I said squeezing him a little more. We stayed like this for a while.
"Thank you for everything.. you mean so much to us y/n. And so much to soda. You don't even know. He would talk about you every night I swear- one time pony even woke up cause he heard soda mumbling your name in his sleep.." Darry laughed. I smiled at him.
"When do you think Pony will be ready? He's the last on my list and I don't wanna rush him.." I said bitting my nails.
"You'll know when he's ready. Trust me" he said patting my back, "welp. I gotta shower. Thank you, y/n. And you're welcome here anytime." He said as he stood up and walked to the washroom.

That was a lot of weight off my chest.