At the End of the Day

12

Chapter 12 // Apollo

"Mum, how do you know if you've found the love of your life?" I tilt my head as I rest my head on her lap. My eyes close as she runs her fingers through my hair.

"I think you'll just know, son. You'll want to be around them all the time. Your heart will beat so fast and you'll always be smiling. They will take over your mind and you'll feel as though you can't live without them. Everything will just feel complete." The movement of her hand pauses and I look up to see a sad smile on her face as she stares ahead. "I hope you find someone who makes you happy, Apollo. You deserve it."

"Are you happy?" I sit up and question her.

My heart falls at her sickly pale skin, and anxiety fills my body, not knowing how long left I have with her.

"You want my honest opinion, my love?" She croaks, and I nod my head. "I'm not." Her eyes water and so do mine.

"Why?"

"I won't get to see you grow into the great and respectful man I know you'll become. I won't get to see your baby sister grow. I'm worried when I leave they'll be no one to look after my babies." She cries softly and tears silently fall down my face as I stare at my distraught mother. "I need you to be strong for me, Apollo. You're such a lovely boy, and I love you and your sister so much." She reaches forward to stroke my cheek and I nod and throw my arms around her fragile body.

"I don't want you to go." I plead with her. "Please don't leave us. Don't leave me." I'm a sobbing mess at this stage, as I beg for my mum not to go.

"Sometimes, Apollo, this world can be so cruel. They take people away from loved ones too soon, and we just have to accept it because this is the way life works. All I want to do is stay, but you know I can't, my love." My eyes clench shut at her words.

"I don't want to be alone, mum." I whimper. "I can't be on my own."

"You won't be on your own. I'll be looking down on you always. I'll guide you in the right direction." I bury my face into the crook of her neck and continue to cry until there are no tears that can physically fall from my eyes.

"Do you still love dad?" Her body tenses at my words.

"I do."

"Even though he hurts you?" She didn't know that I had seen it — until now.

"How did you -"

"It doesn't matter." I shake my head and stare down into her brown eyes. "Why do you still love him, even though he hurt you?" I tilt my head.

The flashbacks of watching my dad shove my mum back into the wall entered my vision. The look of hurt on his face, the tears that fell down his cheeks. Why was he crying when he was the one hurting my mother?

"That's not love," I whisper.

"No, it's not." She looks down in shame, so I grab hold of her hollow cheeks and tilt her head so she's looking up at me.

"I'm sorry, mum." Her lips tremble.

"So am I."

I go back to resting my head on her lap and she goes back to running her fingers through my hair, one of my favourite things that she does.

"And you know when you'll find the one." She breaks the silence after around ten minutes, and I furrow my eyebrows at her words.

"How?"