At the End of the Day

26

Chapter 26// Blue

He walked away that night, two weeks ago. He looked me in the eye and then he walked away. Of course, I wasn't expecting him to walk up to me and say hello, and then scare the shit out of his sister. But I couldn't stop the surge of disappointment that entered my body when he turned his back and walked in the opposite direction.

I wanted him to come up to me. To feel his arms around me. I've missed him all these years and when I see him for the first time, he turns his back on me. Not even a small smile.

Now I'm beginning to think we were never meant to be. We're two completely different people now, not the Blue and Apollo who met in the library all those years ago. I'm no longer nineteen and he's no longer twenty-one. Have I just wasted all these years hoping he would come back? Maybe.

But what is he doing in Switzerland? Out of all the places, how has he found himself exactly where Arabella and I live? He has to come back. If not for me, then at least for his little sister. He has to.

"Bluey. You're daydreaming again. Are you okay?" I blink and look at Arabella in the reflection of the mirror and give her my best smile.

It's nearly Christmas soon, and my work is having a business party. It's at Arabella's favourite restaurant, the same restaurant I saw Apollo at two weeks ago. I don't know why I'm so nervous about going. It's not like I'll see him again. That would be too much of a coincidence.

I told Jacob about the whole ordeal and he told me to just move on. The thought of moving on has my heart constricting, but I want to be in a relationship. I have an amazing job, and a roof over my head, but I'm missing something. Someone to make me feel loved and appreciated. Someone to hug at night after a long day at work. Just someone.

"Bluey. You're doing it again." Arabella takes a seat next to me and raises her eyebrows. "Why are you sad?" I sigh to myself.

There's no escaping Arabella. She's amazing at reading people and it did not surprise me when she told me she wants to be a therapist when she's older. She'd be amazing at it because sometimes I already feel like she's my little therapist.

"I'm just going to miss you tonight, that's all." I lie, and of course, she doesn't buy it. "How would you feel if I started dating someone? Would that be something you'd be okay with?" I tilt my head.

Arabella is always going to be my top priority and if I can't be with Apollo, then I want her to be comfortable with me being with someone else.

"I don't mind, Blue. As long as you're happy, I don't like to see you sad." I smile and lean down to place a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you loads."

"I love you loads too, baby."

"Do you worry that you'd be replacing memories of my brother if you fell in love with someone else?" Her question throws me off guard a little, and for a second I don't know what to say. I think nothing could ever replace the memories that her brother and I shared. He was my first love.

"No one could replace the memories of your brother. I don't think anyone could compare to how amazing and selfless he was. But sometimes, you have to move on from those memories and create new ones. They'll always be there, just with a bunch of new, exciting memories." I explain to my little girl and she nods her head, her face full of understanding. "Your brother is always going to have his own little place in my heart, and no one could ever overshadow that."

"Do I get my own little place in your heart, too?" She beams, and a smile etches onto my face.

"Always, baby. Now help me finish getting ready."