Ben Willbond x Reader

theres a first time for everything

     ever since i was a little kid, whenever i was nervous or didn't want to say something, i would always yawn. i felt like if someone saw me yawning, they wouldn't want to talk to me or try to strike up a conversation.
     that night, it seemed like i was yawning a lot. it was ben and i's first ever official date. before that, everything with ben and i felt so natural, like i was born to kiss him or be around him. but, not this.
     i sat in my seat, staring down at my plate, picking at it anxiously with my fork. the dress i was wearing had slippy straps that i was constantly having to pull up. it was hot, so my legs were sweaty and my cheeks flushed in a painfully unattractive way. my shoes were too small, and rubbed against the back of my ankle when i walked in a way that i knew would give me a blister.
     "so, what's your family like?" ben said, after an uncomfortably long pause.
     "fine. you know, normal i guess. i'm the youngest of five." i replied, glancing up at him.
     i yawned. it worked. he didn't say anything back to me.
     "what about you? what's your family like?" i tried after another pause that seemed to last an eternity.
     "normal, too. we're quiet close, actually."
     "oh, nice."
     yawn.
      "then what are your friends like? the ones i don't know about, that is. obviously." he attempts.
     "fun. i think you'd like them."
      yawn.
     "did you get enough sleep? do you want to go home?" ben questioned, sympathetically.
     i tried to rub something out of my eye, but got a terrible sinking feeling when i realized that my makeup had just almost certainly smeared across my face. i stood up and replied to him.
     "no no, i'm okay. one second, i need to use the washroom."
     i leaved to walk toward the bathroom, but the motion made my strap slip again. i when i got there, i went to the mirror to access the damage. it wasn't as bad as i would have expected, but it still needed some repairs.
     while i was reaching into my purse to retrieve my makeup wipes, i felt a small tap on my shoulder. i turned to see C/N, matt's new girlfriend.
     "oh my god, C/N, you could not have picked a more perfect time to say hi. i'm on a date with ben, and i am seriously dying out there."
     she knitted her brows and said,
     "don't know what to say?"
     "exactly. it just feels so formal and awkward."
     "i get that. it always sort of feels weird on a first date, right? just stop thinking about it and talk to him."
      i thought about her words carefully. it was true, i was certainly overthinking it. i hugged her and thanked her. we stood side by side for a minute, talking. i felt a little better after talking to her, and more ready to go out to see ben.
     as i approached the table, i saw ben sitting there, bouncing his knee and biting his lip with a worried expression. he heard my heals clicking and looked up. his eyes widened for a minute, and then he looked relieved.
     "you looked like you saw a ghost for a second there," i said with a giggle.
     "it's just- no it's stupid. forget about it."
     "no, what is it?"
     he adjusted the cuffs of his sleeves and chuckled before saying,
     "you just looked like a supermodel, when you were walking. like, straight off the runway. i mean like in a confidence way. i don't know, it's stupid."
     i blushed and tucked my hair behind my ear. it's fine, just talk to him. don't over think it.
     "i'm glad you think that. by the way, is it just me or do they seriously need to crank down the thermostat a couple notches. like really, i'm sweating over here!"
     the more i talked, the easier it seemed to get.
     "i was just thinking that. i think they should reimburse me for the whole meal for this great travesty."
     i laughed a little, feeling more relaxed with each breath.
     we finished our food, talking in between each bite. the silences were no longer awkward. after we were done, ben paid the bill.
     "do you wanna get some fresh air?" ben asked on our way to the door.
     instead of just going home, we walked around the london downtown, laughing so hard our ribs hurt. the air smelled like rain, and the sound of the downtown wasn't nearly as annoying as i usually found it.
     "god dammit, at some point i'm just gonna carry my shoes and walk barefoot." i said angrily.
     "no, you'll walk on a needle. let me help you."
     before i could protest, ben completely swept me off my feet and started carrying me bridal-style down the street.
     when i went to bed that night, i fell asleep immediately. i was so worn out that i just knocked out. when i woke up, i called C/N. the more i spoke to her, the more i liked her. she was nice in a very natural way.
     "hey, C/N? thanks for you advice last night. it was really helpful." i said when she answered the phone.
     "oh, no problem. hey, do you wanna hangout sometime this week?"
     i agreed immediately and we set a date for when we were going to go out for coffee.
     everything was right, so why did i feel the awful feeling that i was forgetting something. i had done everything i was supposed to do so..
     "OH MY GOD IM LATE TO REHEARSAL!"