Star Beings: Dawn

Hiatus

Hey y'all. I am going to be taking a bit of a break. This week has been a very tough one for me. I was in a car wreck three years ago, and the trial finally happened. The wreck was not our (my mother's) fault, but we were suing the defendant because he was (and still is, in my eyes) a spoiled, teenaged brat who refused to take any sort of accountability to all of the pain and suffering he caused. This was not a minor accident. I was in critical condition, I had to be moved in a helicopter because they weren't sure I'd make it through traffic (I was younger at the time, and they needed a pediatric surgeon to operate). After three days of being told by his asshole of a lawyer that my mother and I'd injuries were not as severe as we said they were. His reasoning was that I was able to be moved (wow I wouldn't die in the 15 minutes it took to fly me to the other hospital) and that my mother had seemingly recovered. She has, but not completely. I doubt she ever will. The way he spoke to her... I'm surprised I didn't loose my temper, and there were times when I was quite literally biting my tongue in order to stay quiet. But anyways. The defendants managed to sneak something in. We allows it because if we didn't, there would be a mistrial. We almost won, the jury was originally 10-2 in our favor. But they wanted to be unanimous and they used the evidence I previously mentioned to turn the tides. We lost.
It hurts, having to look eleven out of the twelve people who watched me testify... who watched me break down with the realizations my words brought... having to look them in the eyes and know they took the word of two cops (ACAB) who only had a high school level education over an engineer who showed evidence that the brat lied. Which, I still don't understand why they took his side considering he lied whilst under oath, breaking a federal law. But anyways... I need some time to process all of this. I am in pain. I've dealt with PTSD from this accident for three years, I am unsure if I will ever learn to drive because of that, and I truly believed that we would win. That the jury would realize that that little fuck was to blame. The motherfucker was speeding, he lied on the stand, and there's nothing to say that he didn't lie the day he ruined. My. Fucking. Life.
I figured I should let y'all know instead of disappearing. Please forgive me for this. Or don't. I don't have the emotional energy to give a shit right now.
-Ghost