December 28, 2012.worst day of my life. Let me explain why.
My dad died that day. I remember the exact time I was woken up, having to be told by my mother my dad was, "my guardian angel". 3 am.
I remember everything seeming to be going in slow motion. When I heard those words slipping out of her mouth, memories came flooding into my mind. When he used to wake me up early on the weekends so we could make breakfast, every Friday going to LA finding new places to eat, just me and him. It hurt me mentally and physically.
I remember everyday waking up hoping he was still alive. Every day trying to convince myself that he was gonna be okay. I remember everyday after school going to the hospital and staying there till my mom forced me to leave.
Everyday having to see my father slowly start to wilt, almost as he was a flower without water. The most beautiful flower start to wilt.I remember the last time I saw him. He was being taken on a gurney into a ambulance. To this day I still get panic attacks just looking or hearing the sirens of the ambulance.
Back to where I started, memories. They can be the most precious things, or things that will haunt you for the rest of your life.
They can make you or break you. For me? They break me. They are part of me as a person. I can't get rid of them. They come at any moment. But I've learned to accept them as a part of me, a part of who I will be for the rest of my life.
