dempeo/merder oneshots

depressed

"Leave! Meredith, leave!" He shouts in my face. "No" I say. He groans frustrated, rolling his eyes. "No I'm not leaving derek.. you're angry right now.. at yourself.. but you're taking it out on me.. I get it.. but I'm not leaving you.. so you can shout as much as you want at me.. I can take it.. just let me be here for you" I say.

"I don't want you here" he says. "Yes, you do" I say. "I don't!" He shouts. "Derek.. I've seen your dark side now.. you're worst side.. and you're scared.. you're worried you'll scare me off" I say. He rolls his eyes.

"You're not gonna scare me off.. I love you.. I'm not leaving" I hold his hands, stepping closer to him. I wrap my arms around him, hugging him tight.

"Please go.. I dont want you to see me like this" he whispers. "I'm not going" I whisper. He hesitantly wraps his arms around me. I let out a small breath. He hugs me tighter.

We eventually pull away slowly and I hold his hand as we walk inside. He sits on the sofa. I climb ontop of him, straddling his thighs.

"You can be as mad as long as you need.. you can grow your beard out as much as you want.. drink as much as you can afford but I'll be here the whole time okay?" I stroke his cheeks with my thumbs. I brush his hair out of his face, kissing his forehead gently.

he pushes his forehead into my chest. He's a little drunk right now but i don't think its really affecting his thinking. "You wanna shower? Shave?" I run my fingers through his hair gently. "I can't" he croaks. It breaks me seeing him hurting.

"I can help.. I can help you" I whisper. He shakes his head. "Let me help you.. please" I say. I stand up. I hold his hands. He stands up slowly. He still hasn't made eye contact with me.

I hold his hand, leading him to the bathroom. It's a very small bathroom so we're stood very close together when I close the door. I pull off his shirt slowly.

He crosses his arms over his stomach. He's lost a little weight these past few days but it makes me sad that he would ever feel insecure around me. "Its okay" I whisper, putting my hand on his arm. He pulls them away slowly. i kiss him softly on the head.

I pull the string on his joggers. I stop, pulling off my shirt and bra. He keeps looking at the floor. Normally he'd make a flirty comment or try to touch me. I hate seeing him depressed but I'm glad he's letting me be here for him.

I pull down his joggers. "Step out" I whisper. He lifts up his legs so I can pull the joggers the rest of the way off. I pull down his boxers. He steps out of them. I stand up straight. I turn on the shower to get it warm before pulling off the rest of my own clothes.

I hold his hand, stepping into the shower. He walks in after me. I close the shower door. I turn us around so he's under the water.

I brush his hair back gently, wetting it with water. I grab the shampoo. "I'm sorry.. I can't reach you can you-" I say softly. He sits on the shower floor, crossed legged emotionless.

"Thanks" I whisper. I kneel down to him. He leans his head back, closing his eyes. I put some shampoo on my hands before running my fingers through his hair. I gently massage the shampoo into his scalp. I grab the shower attachment, rinsing it out. I put it back.

"Theres only my lavender conditioner.. I'm going to use that.. okay?" I say. He just keeps his eyes closed. I get the conditioner, pouring a little on my hand. I massage it into his curls gently. I leave it in for about a minute before rinsing it out.

I stand up again. I grab his hands gently. He stands up, looking down immediately to avoid eye contact. I grab the shower gel, running my hands all over his body, rubbing it in, leaving no part uncovered. I rinse it off.

We get out of the shower. "You only have one towel" I mumble to myself. "Sorry" he whispers. "Its okay" I smile small, grabbing the towel. I dry myself with it quickly before wrapping it around his waist.

I go to the bedroom area. I put on my panties and one of his shirts before going back into the bathroom. He hasn't moved from where I left him, concerning me but I shake it off.

I walk over to him. I hold his hand gently pulling him out and to the bed. He sits down on the edge of the bed.

I go back into the bathroom, coming back out with a razor, shaving cream and a bowl of water. I put the bowl of water and shaving cream on the small table next to the bed.

"Can I?" I ask, pointing at his lap covered with the towel. He nods slowly. I climb ontop of him, straddling his thighs. I put my finger on his chin, lifting it up gently. He leans his head back, closing his eyes.

I grab the razor. "I'm sorry I really don't know what I'm doing unless this is anything like shaving legs but even that I'm not very good at as you know but-" I stop, sighing, realising I'm probably annoying him with my ramble. "Sorry" I say. "It's okay" he mumbles.

I grab the shaving cream, putting it on his face, rubbing it around gently. I very carefully shave his face, trying my hardest not to accidentally cut him, occasionally rinsing off the hairs and cream in the bowl of water. I finish shaving his beard and put the stuff back in the bathroom.

"Do you need anything?" I kneel infront of him, stroking his jaw with my thumbs, feeling his freshly cut stubble. He holds my hands, pulling me up.

He finally looks into my eyes. He runs his hands up to my cheeks, kissing me softly. I close my eyes as he kisses me again passionately.

I hesitantly put my hands on his neck, kissing him back. He hasn't kissed me ever since he came out here. It feels so good to be close to him again but I know it's wrong. He isn't himself right now. I pull away slowly.

"We shouldn't" I whisper. "Why?" He pulls me onto his lap, trying to kiss me again. "I get avoiding things with sex.. and I'm normally all for it but I don't think you should ignore this" I say. He sighs. I look Into his eyes.

"You don't want this.. don't have sex with me to try to make me happy derek.. you're there for me.. always.. I'm here for you now.. just being with you to help you is enough.. you don't need to do anything else" I whisper. He nods slowly.

I get up. I go to his drawers, getting out some pyjama bottoms. "You want a shirt?" I ask. He shakes his head. I walk back over to him. He gets changed into the pyjama bottoms. He gets in bed under the covers. I get in next to him.

He immediately moves into my arms. I wrap my arms tightly around him. My heart breaks as he pushes his face into my chest. I feel tears soaking my shirt. I gently rub his back with my hand.

I tear up myself as we stay like this for a while. He pulls away slowly. "Sorry" he wipes away the tears. "Its okay.." I wipe his tears with my thumbs, looking into his eyes. "Its okay" I whisper again. I kiss him softly.

"Turn over.." I whisper. He turns over. I smile small, wrapping my arms around him, spooning him. I kiss the back of his neck softly. "I'm glad you're here.. thankyou" he whispers. "Of course" I whisper.

There's a few moments of silence. "I love you derek" I say quietly, scared for the response. "I love you too" he says. I let out a small breath as he says it back instantly.

"You're gonna be okay.. I promise" I snuggle my face into the back of his neck, smelling my conditioner on his hair. He eventually falls asleep in my arms. I drift off shortly after.

1425 words