One Last Game -Haymitch Abernathy-

Chapter 50

Amelia stared at the ceiling. She was exhausted. All she wanted was to sleep through the night, but her dreams were plagued with nightmares. On top of that, she was worried. Amelia was worried about Haymitch. Tomorrow he was leaving with Katniss to visit District 2. The memories of him were returning slowly, as were the emotions attached to him. Whatever they shared must have been real considering Amelia defied her only rule of never loving again. She wished she remembered more.

When she was at the Capitol, she was never alone. Not for one moment. If she wasn't being tortured by torchers, she was with Johanna. Amelia was never alone. She hated being alone at night. Sometimes, she would slip into Johanna's room, but Johanna didn't have a problem sleeping. Every time Amelia went into her room, she woke her up. That wasn't fair to Johanna.

Haymitch once told her she hated sleeping alone. It turns out he was right. Amelia didn't like being alone. She couldn't trust her mind or her surroundings. Rather than staying in bed, she got up. There was only one place she wanted to be. Amelia wasn't entirely sure she trusted Haymitch, but he clearly trusted her. That said a lot about him, and that was enough for her.

The woman walked down the dimly lit hall. Her feet padded against the floor. She looked down, noticing her socks. They didn't match. A faint smile appeared on her face. Haymitch was right. It was scary how much he knew about her. Amelia wished she could remember more.

Walking down the corridor, her eyes found his door. She stopped outside of it, feeling uneasy. Amelia raised her hand to knock, but she couldn't do it. She couldn't knock. It wasn't as if knocking was hard, but at that moment, it felt impossible.

Amelia remembered herself slipping through his bedroom door when they were in the Capitol. She never knocked. She never felt the need. She always entered his room silently. Haymitch never objected when she crawled into bed with him.

Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door. Her eyes found his sleeping figure instantly. Haymitch was sprawled on his back, an arm thrown over the pillows next to him. Amelia closed the door, letting her back rest against it for a second. Her heart was racing in her chest. She feared this was a bad idea. Even if it was, she was determined to figure out what was happening between them. Amelia wanted to feel safe again. There was a chance she would never be able to kill President Snow. If that was the case, she wanted to prove to him that he didn't break her, not entirely. Amelia wanted to show him that she was still there.

Silently, she walked towards the bed. Amelia kneeled against the mattress. The moment the bed shifted, Haymitch woke up. He watched her curiously as she laid down next to him. Amelia let her head rest against his chest. Being this close to him should have been scary, but it wasn't.

Haymitch moved his arm slowly, careful not to overwhelm her. He then let it rest against her back. Amelia found comfort in his warm embrace. The room was dark. The only light came from the bathroom. She listened to the beating of his heart. It was fast. "You're nervous," she whispered. "Is that real?"

"Yes," he responded.

Amelia moved her right arm, letting it fall over his stomach. She took a deep breath. There was something different about Haymitch. "You smell different now."

He smiled to himself. "I do?"

"Yeah." Haymitch thought that was a good thing. That meant Amelia remembered more about him. "You used to smell like pine and alcohol. Now you smell like coffee and toothpaste." He laughed. Amelia liked his laugh. It was faint and airy.

No more words were spoken, but none were needed. Amelia found herself falling asleep willingly in Haymitch's arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey," Johanna dropped into the seat beside her. "I was looking for this morning. You weren't in your room." Amelia watched as she took her plate. Johanna never asked as she ate her apple. "You weren't going to eat that, right?"

Amelia rubbed her jaw. "I wasn't. It's all yours." It didn't matter if she wanted it.

"So, where were you?" Johanna kicked her feet onto the table.

She didn't respond for a moment. All she did was stare at the wall. "I was with Haymitch."

Johanna was surprised by her words. "Really? You skipped our earlier morning chats for a boy? I'm impressed." It was easy to feel comfortable around Johanna. She was blunt and unforgiving. That used to bother Amelia, but not anymore. "How was your night with the old man?"

"He's not old," Amelia found herself saying. "And fine."

Johanna smirked. "Then what's bothering you?"

"Nothing's bothering me-"

"Please," she interrupted her. "Your face is radiating some sort of pain. What is it?"

Amelia sighed. Johanna knew her too well. "It's just." She crossed her arms. "I'm remembering more and more, but it doesn't make me feel any better. If anything, I feel worse." She didn't know how to explain it. "I feel so hollow inside. I feel angry." The Capitol destroyed her, and all she wanted was revenge. "I want Snow to be held accountable. I want him dead. It's all I can think half of the time."

"You're in no place to storm the Capitol, trust me." Amelia rolled her eyes. "And you're not strong enough to kill anyone, not like this."

"Okay," Amelia waved her hand dismissively.

"What? I'm being serious." Johanna tossed the apple on the table.

"That's beside the point. I just want him dead so that I can move on."

Johanna huffed, "but will you move on?" She didn't say anything. "Going after Snow is a suicide mission. You know that, right?" They stared at each other. Neither of them say anything for a moment. "Or is it that what you want?" Amelia isn't sure how to respond to that. "Given the opportunity, would you really go after him?"

"Yes." There was no hesitation in her voice. Amelia wanted President Snow dead. Every day for weeks, she thought about killing him. All she did was sit around District 13 and listen to doctors tell her that she would be okay. Amelia was never going to be okay again. She was never going to be normal. Hoping she would be was a delusion. It wasn't real. The reality was President Snow destroyed the last bit of her soul. He put her in the games. He killed her family. He took away her memories and replaced them with fear. It was all his fault. He had to pay for what he did. Amelia didn't care how. She just wanted him dead. It didn't matter if she died trying to accomplish that.