The Truth About Love

CHAPTER 27: SAMANTHA

June 5, 1986

I'm still pregnant. Given that this little nugget was determined to be conceived on New Years during our wild, unprotected sex, it's due the second of October. This makes me five moths pregnant. And coming clean was hard.

Not that I exactly had the honor.
You'll see.

These past four months have been absolutely brutal.

Alexander had started using again and has been completly unattainable.
He started off coming home sober in the early morning hours and crawling into bed with me.
Until he found out about baby nugget.
Now he sleeps on the couch. I feel him lingering over me while I pretend I'm sleeping, but he never crawls into bed.
With this news he's been on another planet.

Jenna kicked Dan out about two weeks ago. She obviously started using again, and is also unattainable. Obviously we know now who Alexander's drug buddy is.

Dan has been staying in the spare room.
He's been getting though everything the best way he can and I am very proud of him.
He was mentally prepared for losing Grace. He doesn't accept it, and he's barely holding on, but at least he's trying.
Jenna accused him of not loving Grace because he wasn't laying on the floor getting high with her.
Following that she kicked him out and won't even accept his calls. She doesn't even like or want me near her because of my pregnancy.
Like its my fault.
I understand her hurt though, and hopefully one day she'll clean up her act and get to be a part of this little nuggets life.

I wanted Alexander to be the first to know about the baby. But he was hard to reach and not exactly in any shape to bring up something as serious as this.

So after four weeks of crying myself to sleep and trying to hide the fact I've been puking my guts out in the morning, I barged in Mar's place, mid meltdown.
I laid in bed with her and cried in her arms until two in the morning.

She then took me home hours later to a hysterical Alexander.
You see, I have never been out until two in the morning before without him.
He thought I left him and in his state of coming off of a coke high, he was paranoid and absolutely hysterical.

He didn't expect Mar to follow me into the appartment.
He didn't expect her to smack him in the face.
He most definitely didn't expect her to scream,
"get off your fucking doped up ass and take care of your fucking woman. I get it, you just lost someone who meant the fucking world to you. But your a few more nights away from losing the love of your life and the fucking baby you put in her. So get the fuck up, take a fucking shower and wipe your two month fucking pregnant girlfriend's eyes cus she's a fucking wreck. She should be in your arms! Not sobbing in mine you fucking good for nothing bum!"
She then looked around the apartment until she saw an empty glass on the counter and chucked it at him. He quickly dodged it and it shattered on the wall, right before the door slammed with her on the other side.
That went well.

At least the cat was out of the bag, right?

He slowly walked over to me, stopped inches away and looked down into my eyes. He whispered, "is it true?"
I just nodded with tears falling down my checks.
He fell into his knees and wrapped his arms around my legs and put his head on my stomach. Then he sobbed.
I don't know how long we stayed like that until I took him to bed.
He laid in my arms while begging for forgiveness and telling me how much he loved me.
But I woke up alone.

Dan approached me that Monday at work. He hugged and congratulated me saying,
"Zander will come around."
I whispered while shaking my head, "he's using again."
"I know, him and Jenna are fucking killing each other, but he'll come around. He'll come back to you."
I nodded and went back to work praying to God he was right.

Two moths later, he still hasn't come around. I've been going to my appointments alone. I've been buying little baby things alone. Dan even donated Grace's crib to me, and we put in my room.
Still no response after that was given from Alexander.
I find out the sex of the baby on my next appointment. I'm sure I'll be going alone.

If he keeps this up I'm leaving with the baby. I don't know how I'll do it. I don't even know if I'll survive the heartbreak, but this baby is worth the risk.

Goodnight

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Hey everyone,

Thank you for your continuous support and comments.

So, what do you think?
Is this the end of Zander and Sam?
What about the baby?

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Love you all!