✓ | The Esoteric Mismatched [D-Archives]

Chapter 14: My Mirror

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THIS IS the second time I woke up with a headache that I could literally say I want to detach it from my skull.

It took a while before the pain subsided but during those moments I was stiff, because in a small body movement, I'll lose my composure.

Nakaramdam ako ng isang pamilyar na kamay na humawak sa kanang kamay ko. The grip was familiar, which made me move and open my eyes.

"Mom?" I adjusted my vision as I looked for her.

"Monica?" A slight smile escaped my lips when I heard her voice.

Tumingin ako sa kung saan ko siya narinig. My mother was wearing her hospital gown, holding my hand bearing her worried face.

It's a rare sight, I know, because these are moments she always reminds me to avoid. Seeing her children hospitalized is her worst nightmare.

Mom always told us to be healthy and stay focused on our lifestyle. She doesn't want to see her children being examined and be diagnosed with such an illness she can't cure.

Lagi niyang pinapaalala kahit lagi siyang wala. That's why I can't hate her. I never hated my mom, I am that daughter who can't accept permanent reasons.

"How's your feeling? May masakit ba? I already alerted the attending physician, they'll be here later. Stay still," she said trying to hide the tremble of her voice.

Ayoko naman sumunod kaya hinatak ko ang lahat kong lakas para bumangon. I reached my head when I felt it was covered. Inalalayan ako ni Mom na humiga sa headboard.

"Monica, do you remember what happened? Can you tell me?"

I couldn't move my lips. It went shut, like I did that unconsciously. Hindi ko alam kung sasabihin ko ba sa kanya ang nangyari o mananatili muling sikreto ito.

My mother knew how a troublemaker I am, but I only went to the hospital once a month for a check up. She never knew when or where I was beaten, where and when I hit with fist and palms. She never knew because I kept it.

Ilang beses na ba akong nakidnap at umuwing parang walang nangyari? I think this was the fourth one this year. The preceding three were light cases because I literally went home in one piece. I did have small scratches and swollen arms, but I slept peacefully. May pagkakaiba ngayon.

My life is not in danger. I do receive some threats but not life threatening. Alam ko kung ano ang mangyayari sa akin kapag nagpatuloy ako na manira ng mga taong naninira sa kapwa nila. I always asked myself if it was worth all the hate, and I always have an answer: I don't care much about my own if those who are weak will get the help they need.

I am not a hero, and I will never consider myself being one. I know I can lend a hand, and I am lending it. If my Mom knows what I am hiding, she'll go hysterical and ground me. Kilala ko ang nanay ko, kaya alam ko na kung ano ang mangyayari sa susunod na mga araw.

My attending doctor came in and checked my status. Unfortunately, I had a bump on the back of my head and it bled causing me to be rushed into the ER.

It wasn't serious if I was being polite, but since I have a paranoid Mother, I know she wants me to be thoroughly examined. I had a concussion resulting from being hit by a wood and bumped the back of my head on the floor.

Aside from that, I have bruises from my shoulder, my right leg, my upper back and my wrists. Kahit hindi ko sabihin, alam ko na may sariling conclusion si Mom sa nangyari sa akin.

They eventually left after a series of medical conversations I did not pay attention to. I turned my head and asked my Mom, "How long should I stay?"

"A week, maybe two if your case worsens. Did you know how terrified I was when I received a call from the ER that my daughter's head was bleeding? I even asked my NS friend to take you in or I'll burn this damn hospital."