Gặp Gió - The eye of the storm: Preface

Chapter 7: Transform, Touch, and Open (Part one)

In the era that we're currently in, we don't typically have lives that consists of unique experiences and dramatic ups and downs. One of the benefits of being an actor is being able to glimpse at the fates of others, to change, to be touched, to be inspired.
__________
BLACK MANDALA

Before filming Detective Chinatown, I had a very important walkthrough experience on the set of Black Mandala. During the time that I spent familiarizing myself with the role, I was forced to continuously face myself at my lowest, to experience the depths of human despair.

Even though I ended up not being able to take part in the film due to conflicting schedules, that period of time spent studying and being challenged allowed me to learn many things.

My role was a youth with dual personalities. One side of him was like an angel, and the other was a murderer who killed his own mother.

The role was slightly similar to the character Aaron in Primal Fear, played by Edward Norton. Aaron was believed to have dissociative identity disorder, and was normally seen as a weak, harmless, stuttering person who lacked confidence.

But when he felt like he was under pressure, a personality called "Roy" would take over. Roy was cruel, ruthless, and violent.

In Black Mandala, the focus was on the discussion of personality and persona. The story was about someone who needed to feel safe, but was never protected. He never had a way of expressing his true self.

All human beings have a good side, and a side that may not be as good. When a child is young, he is able to express the kind, pure, loving parts of himself, as well as selfishness, bossiness, and more extreme traits that aren't as kind.

The way the child expresses him or herself (T/N: meaning they show both sides of themselves) is a sign that they are in a loving environment, that they feel secure.

When these "kind' traits are shown, family members will encourage him or her. When the "not so kind" traits come through, family members will put rules down. The encouragement and the set rules are the foundation of a child's personality, and that personality may be guided and changed (based on environment).

But for some others, they may have grown up in an unsafe environment. They might have never dared to show the "bad" side of themselves, and desperately suppress it, until one day it exposes itself. That hidden "bad" side then is shown in a second persona.

In this story, when the character is in an unsafe environment, he has no way of showing the "bad" side of himself, so hides it in his heart. As a result, no one ever tells him that this is wrong.
__________
FIRST TIME DOING A WALKTHROUGH TO THE POINT OF DESPAIR