weakness • negan x reader

Chapter Seven

Kourtney didn't process Tony's death any better than I did, but at least she didn't nearly hyperventilate or need chewing gum. "You can take the day off if you want.", Laura offered, but Kourtney shook her head energetically. Just like me, she decided that Tony would want us to move on.

"Are you sure about this?", I asked. "How could I be.", Kourtney said and wiped her red nose. "I just don't want to have to focus on the pain." "Same.", I agreed. She gave me a long, tight hug. I really needed that, and I think she did, too. After that we parted our ways like nothing happened and Laura led me to the training ground.

"Do you have any experience with any kinds of weapons?", she wanted to know. "Not really.", I answered. "Well, I know how to use a bow and arrow, I've been in a shooting club before all this."

"That's good, we don't have any archers here anymore.", Laura said. "What about guns?" I shook my head. "Well those are crucial nowadays. Let's start with this one." She handed me an average Beretta 92. "This is how you load them...", she explained and opened the barrel. "And you probably know how to fire a shot."

"Yup.", I said. I pointed at the nearest target circle and aimed. "Don't forget to unlock it.", Laura warned. I closed my left eye and took a deep breath. Then I fired.

I missed it superbly. "Damn it." I tried again, and again. "Keep your shoulders straight.", Laura said. "And don't worry about it, no one's a perfect shot at their first try."

"Sure.", I said through clenched teeth. My next shot was at least remotely close to my target. "Keep trying, I'll get you more weapons to try out.", Laura said and left. After five more minutes I finally hit the target. Not in the middle, but at least something.

"Not bad." I turned around, it was Dwight. "Oh, thanks.", I said and turned back to the target. "But I need a whole lot of practice." Dwight came closer. "Here, let me show you.", he said and improved my posture.

"Nova.", he whispered, almost hummed. "Sherry said you were gonna help us escape?" I was relieved that Dwight was the one addressing the topic. "Yeah.", I said, barely noticeable. "So you know the plan?", Dwight asked. I nodded. "And you're sure you want to do this?" I nodded again. "Okay. Thank you, really.", Dwight said.

"How is it going?", Laura asked and came down the stairs. She carried two bags filled with weapons in her hands. As an answer, I fired another shot. To my own surprise, I almost hit the target in the middle.

"Give her two more days and she'll be better than most of us.", Laura laughed. "Okay, show us what you got.", she added and handed me a bow and arrow. It was black, light and perfectly balanced.

I drew the bow, aimed for a few seconds, and shot. My arrow landed right in the middle of the target. "Make it one day.", Dwight grinned and got the arrow back. Laura gave me a belt with pockets for guns and knives and a matching quiver for my bow.

For the first time I felt safe. I wasn't hungry, or in danger. Well, not yet. If Negan found out about the thing with Dwight, which was very much possible, I was screwed. I started regretting my choice.

If I helped them I'd risk everything I had here. I'd also put Kourtney in unnecessary danger, she had nothing to do with all this. But I already promised I'd help them, I couldn't take that back now.

Two hours later, I stopped my training to go and get something to eat. "Hey.", Xyla said and sat down next to me. "I've heard about the thing with your brother. That sucks."

"Yeah. Thanks." I didn't know what to say so I took a zip of my coffee. "Negan wants me to ask you if you want a funeral." "Oh.", I said. "Sure, that'd be great. Nothing big, though. Just me and my sister." Xyla nodded, got up and left. I buried my head in my hands.

I asked Kourtney about what she thought, she wanted to bury him next to our parents. "He would want that.", she said. "Yeah, I know.", I acknowledged. "But I don't wanna make any fuss." "I get it.", Kourtney said. "But I don't think it's gonna be a lot of trouble. Besides, he asked you, remember? Not the other way. We just need a vehicle, a shovel and an urn."

"Okay, okay. I'll tell Laura or Xyla the next time I see them.", I gave in. "Thanks.", Kourtney said. "How are you?" I sighed. "I don't know. Fine, I guess. What about you?" Kourtney shrugged. "Could be worse. I don't feel anything at the moment, to be honest."

When I woke up the next day, I felt absolutely empty. Nothing seemed to matter and I didn't understand what was going on inside of me. I decided to go to the infirmary first.

When I got there, a woman I didn't know was already there. She was pregnant, probably in her eight or even ninth month. "Oh wow.", I mumbled, a bit overwhelmed. I never thought I'd see something like that again after everything started. "Sorry, I mean, I'm Nova.", I said and shook the woman's hand. "Danielle.", she said.

"We're about to detect the baby's sex.", Dr Carson explained and put the x-ray machine to her belly. "We're very lucky those still work.", he added and pointed at the machine. After a few moments, we had the result. "Congratulations, you're having a girl.", I smiled.

"Oh, I knew it.", Danielle sighed. "Her name's gonna be Gracie then." "Good choice." Carson looked back at the display. "I can't complain, your baby is perfectly healthy and good to go soon. Maybe in five to fourteen days, I can't detect a closer date with this tech."

Danielle thanked us and left. Ten minutes later, when I was about to leave too, I ran into Kourtney. "Hey.", she said. "Are you ready?"

"Yeah. Just let me get my jacket first.", I answered.

We went downstairs and Dwight gave us a truck with equipment in it, a walkie talkie and finally a heavy black urn. My hands were shaking as I carried it. "Xy and Laura are gonna come with you.", Dwight said. "They know the way there and back."

I didn't have any energy to complain about it, even though I would have prefered doing it alone with my sister. I knew they weren't going to let us go alone. When we got to the truck, Laura and Xyla were already waiting inside.

During the ride, nobody said anything. Sometimes, the silence was broken by some Saviors making announcements through the walkie talkie. When we arrived at our old camp, Laura said, "We'll wait here, you two take your time."

"Not too much, though, we ain't got all day.", Xyla added. "Xy! Don't listen to her.", she assured us. "Here, take this with you and contact us if something's wrong." Laura handed us a walkie talkie.

We thanked them and left the truck. It was parked pretty close to the camp so we didn't have to walk for long. Our camp still looked the same way it did a few days ago when I was herewith Negan.

Even the biter Negan had me kill with my bare hands was laying there the same way we left it. "This place is a shithole.", I said eventually, carefully put the urn on a tree stump and sat on the ground.

Kourtney nodded. "I hate the sight of it." I noticed that feeling coming up my throat and tried to swallow it. I wanted to move on and was sick of my emotions, because they obviously weren't done with this topic yet.

I turned up my nose, grabbed the shovel and got up with its help. "I better start digging.", I mumbled impassively and dug a hole next to our mother's grave.

Together, we lifted the urn and before closing the hole again, we said some words that he wouldn't hear anyway. "Why didn't you tell us.", said Kourtney quietly. "You could've told us at least." I didn't try to hold back my tears anymore.